


Beauty Beneath

by dallystrings



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, all they do is bicker with each other, and makes fun of ben a lot, ben is the estranged artist son, everyone does karaoke, finn is trying very hard to make things less awkward, han is a dick (unsurprisingly), hux is incredibly over dramatic, hux is the workaholic best friend, leia wants everyone to get along, millicent the cat comes along for the ride, poe is the ex that is somehow closer to the family than ben is, rey is the adopted sister, so much scoffing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:45:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6689800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dallystrings/pseuds/dallystrings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps it was the cockiness that Dameron bled, or the look of complete and utter distress in his friend’s eyes, but Hux could not hold back the lie that bubbled up in his throat.<br/>“You know Ben, he’s a disaster when it comes to planning in advance,” Hux laughed lightly, dropping his hand to entwine his fingers in Ben’s. “I’m Hux, his boyfriend.”</p><p> <br/>or, the one where Ben really doesn't want to go home, and Hux is just trying to be a better friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emissary

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a drabble on a Thursday night and very quickly spun out of control.
> 
> Each chapter is named after a Keaton Henson song, because I love him.
> 
> if you're interested, my Star Wars tumblr is r2dameron.tumblr.com

“Dear god,” Hux gawked, eyes flickering up to stare at the man across the table. “You’ve really gone to town on that Cobb salad. What did a hunk of lettuce ever do to you?” 

“Ha, ha.” Ben grumbled, stabbing his fork once more into the dish. The last pieces that had remained intact now scattered across his plate, his focus centered on the demise of his salad. “Keep it up and you’re next,”

The threat only made Hux roll his eyes as he continued to dissect his own dish into carefully constructed bites. An uncomfortable silence hung over the table as Ben continued to poke at his food, and Hux continued to ignore him. 

“I suppose,” Hux sighed in resignation after a few bitter moments, “That a good friend would ask you what is wrong,” 

Ben finally pulled himself away from his plate, propping an elbow up on the table to rest his chin in. Like a forlorn puppy, he practically whimpered and nodded up and down. Hux bobbed his own head in response, before turning back to focus on his food.

When Ben realized what had happened, he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Hux managed to withhold his grin, finding too much pleasure in toying with his friend. Ben tapped his foot impatiently, mumbled obscenities under his breath, and became even more hostile with his salad in an attempt to aggravate Hux.

“Fine,” Hux exclaimed finally, setting his silverware down neatly at the proper side of each plate. “You win, you petulant child. What is it? What could possibly be so earth shattering that you feel the need to mutilate the perfectly nice meal I am treating you to?”

Ben’s mood shifted to contentment to a fraction of a second, pleased with himself for finally getting what he wanted. In the next moment, however, his smile reverted to the frown that had been plastered on his face for the majority of the night. 

“Thank you for asking,” he nodded solemnly, and Hux had to restrain himself from jumping across the table to strangle him. “Also, don’t refer to this as a treat. No one likes Cobb salad. The lettuce to dressing ratio is completely out of whack, and it’s so much more of a mess than it’s really worth-”

“Ben,” Hux barked out, letting his head fall to rest in his hands. Slender fingers massaged his temples, and he forced a smile as he looked up to meet the other’s eyes once more. “Just, how about you tell me what’s really bothering you? Okay?” he said slowly, resulting in a dirty look shot in his direction. 

Ben sent him a warning look, narrowing his eyes in Hux’s direction. Somehow, he refrained from letting out an impatient groan, and instead waved his hands to continue the conversation along. 

“My mother’s birthday is next weekend,” Ben sighed dramatically, head crashing down to rest in his hand once more. Hux waited for elaboration that didn’t seem to come, and internally screamed when he realized he would have to play a bigger part in the conversation than he had expected. 

“You talk to your mom on the phone almost every day,” Hux reminded him gently, unsure as to what the issue was so far. “Sometimes for hours. When we’re supposed to be hanging out. After you’ve asked me to clear my schedule for yo-”

“That’s beside the point,” Ben interrupted, waving his hand to dismiss Hux’s point. Again, he waited for the other to continue to no avail.

“Is it… because she’s getting old?” Hux attempted, searching Ben’s face for anything. “Because she still is very young, and due to modern medicine humans are able to live for longer periods of time than ever befo-”

“It’s not that,” Ben whined, honestly whined. Hux bit his tongue to refrain from lashing out, forcing as sweet of a smile as he could muster up at the absolute idiot that he had spent the past decade trying to understand. 

“So, my darling, amazing, so overly melodramatic pal,” Hux crooned and Ben furrowed his eyebrows at the last three words, “what exactly would the problem be with your mother’s birthday? Because I am at a loss,” 

Ben perked up at the surrender, and again Hux saw that flash of contentment in his eyes. At times, he wondered if Ben was only dramatic in order to get Hux to cave in. If so, it worked wonders. 

“She’s having a birthday party,” Ben explained, as if that would solve every puzzle in Hux’s head and this time, the internal screams teetered on the edge of escaping. “They expect me to attend this one. It’s the big 5-0,” 

All at once it clicked for Hux. This wasn’t about Ben’s mother at all, no, he loved her. This was about everyone else he would be forced to socialize with when returning home. Hux frowned, and Ben let out a sigh of relief so small it was almost missed. 

“I’m sure you’re overreacting,” Hux tried, carefully, “How bad could a party really be?” 

Ben scoffed and stabbed his Cobb salad once again, and Hux could have laughed at the metaphor. 

-

 

In the decade since they became friends, Ben visited home three times. It had been five years since his last trip back to the town where he grew up, but Hux remembered it well. 

Hux had been the one to receive the incessant text updates, the nightly aggravated calls from inside the bathroom, and had also been the one to deal with the outright disaster of an aftermath. 

From what Hux took away from the experience, or, Ben spending over a week curled up on his couch pouting, the trip home was not a success. 

There had been several different arguments with his father, Han, who essentially disowned his son the day he left for art school instead of taking over the family mechanic shop.

There were also countless run ins with his ex, Poe, who had somehow entwined himself in the web of the Solo-Organa family while Ben was away.

And finally, the looming shadow of his adopted sister, Rey, who had grown up to be exactly the child that both his mother and father always dreamed of. 

“Ben,” Hux had sighed out, phone lodged carelessly between his shoulder and ear as he tapped out an e-mail to the corporate offices, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating. As always. I’ve heard how your mom talks to you, it’s sickening,” 

Ben continued to ramble on the instances of turmoil he was facing, but Hux only half listened and hummed out appropriate responses when the conversation called for it. Before Ben could finish, Hux was being whisked away to yet another meeting and promising to call him later. 

Later didn’t come until the afternoon Ben was due home, two days after their last call. There had been voice messages and texts, but Hux was so caught up in his work that he didn’t have the time to reply. 

Hux waited impatiently in the airport, foot tapping and fingers typing away on his cell phone to stay completely updated on his career. It was a high stakes world, and Hux had every intention to rise through the ranks as quickly as possible. 

When he glanced up to check the newest group of people making their way into the baggage claim, Hux hadn’t recognized him at first. Ben’s torso sagged over, reducing him what seemed like half of his regular size. He clung to the strap of his carry on bag, slung haphazardly around his shoulder, and moved slowly through the masses of people.

Hux locked his phone, shoving it into his pocket as he shoved his way through the people to make it to his best friend. His hands reached up to grip onto Ben’s shoulders, trying to ease him back to his usual looming height. 

“Benny boy,” Hux teased, using the nickname that always seemed to get a rise out of the other. Ben didn’t flinch, just staggered along to the carousel where his luggage would be retrieved. 

Hux frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together and true concern splashing across his face. Gently, he placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders again and led him from the bustle of the crowd to an empty bench.

“I’m going to get your bag. You stay here,” he commanded, running over his words in his head as he attempted to find compassion within himself. “I’ll take care of everything,” he promised, his voice soft as he took Ben’s face into his hands and smoothed a thumb over the ridge of his cheekbone. 

Hux had never been one to back out of a promise. He felt himself fill with worry as he looked at the sorry state of Ben, making a handful of lists in his head on how to take away the nearly tangible pain he was witnessing. 

Ben came home with him that night, as Hux was almost too afraid to leave him alone. The guilt ate his chest whole, reminding him constantly that Ben had reached out to him for help and he turned a blind eye. 

Ben, who had always been a bit theatrical, made up for his difficulties in spades of overflowing loyalty to Hux. And yet, for this one occasion he had been unable to do the same. 

So, Hux attempted to make it up to him. He fussed over Ben like he was a child, cooking him his favorite meals and popping in his favorite movies. Hux may have hated tacos and romantic comedies, but he’d have done anything to see Ben smile. 

It was the most vulnerable Ben had ever been with him. The long winded complaints and temper tantrums paled in comparison to the nights when he returned from his visit home. 

Ben sat silently, pressed up rigidly to the opposite end of the couch with his eyes glazed over. Hux talked out loud, trying to get anything he could from Ben. At last, he couldn’t stand the one sidedness anymore. 

Hux turned, stretched out his arms like he had done at the airport and fastened them securely around Ben’s shoulders. For a second the two just stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. 

Neither was exactly prone to physical affection, especially with each other, yet here they were. Hux made up his mind, and moved in to wrap his arms tighter around Ben and give him a proper hug. 

Ben let out a tiny gasp of surprise, his own arms coming up soon after to envelope Hux in an embrace. The angle was no less than awkward, and Hux quickly felt his legs falling asleep due to sitting on his heels, but he would not move until Ben pulled back. 

“I didn’t realize how much they love her more than me,” Ben choked out, burying his face in Hux’s shoulder. “It was like I couldn’t breathe without disappointing my dad. I thought time away would heal some of the animosity but-”

Ben’s voice cut out, and Hux frowned. A look of anger flashed across his face, but he softened when he felt Ben nuzzle against him. Hux tentatively brought one hand up to rub soothing circles on the other’s back as some symbol of support. 

Ben pulled away after a moment, hair somehow messier than before. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept the entire week he was away, and Hux made a mental note to make him a cup of chamomile tea before bed.

“Thanks,” Ben coughed, voice gruff. Hux nodded slowly, unsure of what to do next. 

“Do you,” he swallowed thickly, waving his hands around anxiously, “want to, uh, talk about it? Or something?” Hux offered.

Ben smiled at him, and Hux’s chest deflated with relief. It wasn’t the usual shit-eating grin his best friend possessed, especially when they were together, but it was a start. 

“Or something,” Ben joked weakly, settling back into his spot on the couch. His eyes flickered to the television with a knowing look. “So, admit it. This ‘romantic comedy bullshit’ is interesting,” he challenged. 

“Oh please,” Hux snorted, arms crossing over his chest as he turned to face the television. “These people all have feelings for their best friend that takes them years and some stupid adventure to realize. It’s a load of shit,” 

-

“Maybe,” Ben said, whirling around in the chair at Hux’s desk, “I just won’t go,” 

“Don’t spin in that,” Hux snapped, eyes still glued to the spreadsheets in front of him as he scanned the logistics. In the five years since Ben’s last visit home, he had indeed moved up through the ranks at an alarming speed.

Thanks to Hux’s work ethic, fierce determination, and intimidation factor, he was now holding an executive position at an extremely lucrative publishing company. However, it wasn’t the best position he could have, and Hux wasn’t quick to settle. 

“I’m not spinning,” Ben said, as he continued to spin. 

“Remind me again, why exactly you are here,” Hux asked, voice polite but edging on hostile. Before Ben could answer, he threw the pen in his hand directly at him. 

Hux smiled triumphantly at his aim while Ben howled about the pen whacking him right in the shoulder. He reminded Hux that he needed this shoulder to paint, and Hux only rolled his eyes in return. 

“Now, back to your question,” Ben sighed, tossing the pen back to Hux who caught it without looking up from the table, “I am here because I am a good friend, and good friends don’t let their other friends work themselves to death,” 

“Is that what good friends do,” Hux tried to hide his amused smile by picking up a folder. 

“It’s what good friends don’t do, Hux,” Ben sighed, “Try to be a better listener,” 

“Better listener, right,” Hux affirmed, “That’s the thing that good friends do, right?” 

“Exactly,” Ben confirmed, sounding almost pleased until he realized that Hux was teasing him. That was the last straw, and he pushed himself up out of the chair immediately. 

The speed in which he did this was quickly determined to be a horrible idea, as Ben had spent the past five minutes spinning as fast as possible in Hux’s chair. He tottered to one side, and then the other, and Hux looked up from his work just waiting for him to fall over. 

“Big bad Ben, coming at me like a toddler,” he smirked, clicking his pen to draw out one final signature before he began to pack up his work. 

Hux stood up, tucking his perfectly organized accordion folder into his bag. Ben regained his balance, holding a hand up to his head by some hope of easing the dizziness. 

“Keep bitching, and I’ll choose Panda’s Pizza Party,” Ben threatened, and Hux’s face went white. 

“You would not dare,” he started very calmly, “choose that cesspool of children’s vomit and artificial cheese to eat our sacred weekly meal,” 

“Sacred,” Ben laughed, jabbing the elevator button as Hux fixed the shoulder strap of his bag. “Hux, we eat dinner together at least four times a week,” Ben pointed out. 

“Thursdays are different,” Hux spoke quietly, watching the numbers increase to show the elevator was getting closer and closer. “We’ve had dinner together every Thursday, save three exceptions, since college,” 

The doors opened, and the two crossed the threshold into the elevator. Ben pressed the button for the lobby without having to look, and Hux tried not to think about just how much time he had spent at the offices with him. 

“It always surprises me when you’re sentimental,” Ben teased light heartedly, and Hux faked a laugh as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I won’t choose Panda’s Pizza Party,” 

“Good,” Hux snapped, “Because if you think I’m bitching too much now, you have no idea just how much I can complai-”

“Oh, I know how much you can complain. You really are such a little bitch,” Ben interrupted, and Hux scowled at him in return. “So back to the party-”

“What party?” Hux asked, confusion flashing across his face. They walked out of the elevator together, and Ben threw his hands into the air. 

“Of course you weren’t listening,” Ben scoffed, and Hux internally cursed himself for saying anything at all instead of letting him continue on with his thought. 

“I was too I just, oh,” Hux’s eyes lit up and he turned to Ben excitedly. “The family party!” he exclaimed, prideful in himself for realizing. Ben shot him a vacant look and continued walking. 

“What sleuthing skills,” he commented dryly, “I see that weekend of blowing me off to ready Sherlock Holmes stories didn’t go to waste,” he noted and Hux took on a look of personal offense. 

“Those stories,” he argued back, fiery as ever, “are literary classics, Ben!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben grumbled, his mood having clearly shifted from the topic. Hux felt both irritated and sympathetic, a combination he didn’t know existed until he met Ben. 

They walked in silence through the parking garage until they reached Hux’s car. It was a black sports car, something completely ridiculous to have in the city due to the cost of parking and amount of traffic, but Hux enjoyed driving on his own terms, as well as showing off exactly how much money he had to blow. 

Ben piled into the passenger seat, the aggravation that came with sticking his overly large limbs into the small car being worth more than the luxury for him. Hux, on the other hand, had learned to gracefully tuck himself away into the car. 

They didn’t speak for the ride, save Ben grumbling his restaurant choice, and Hux found the silence comfortable. With Ben, there wasn’t a constant need for conversation. They were often content in doing their own thing while together. 

It felt different as the ride wore on, however, and Hux began to worry. He knew just how poorly the last trip home had been, and he also knew that it wasn’t bound to go much better this time around. 

“You have to go,” Hux spoke finally, his voice barely audible over the hum of the car. Ben didn’t flinch, just kept his eyes on the road. 

“Bit hard to go anywhere when the car is moving-” he bickered, but Hux cut him off with an indignant sigh. 

“To the party, you absolute imbecile,” Hux fired back, and Ben barked out a laugh. 

“You’re the imbecile for thinking I would send myself on that suicide mission,” he grimaced, his stance unmoving for the moment. 

Hux didn’t have an argument after that. He knew that his encouragement meant nothing, he had never met the rest of Ben’s family. His opinion on the subject meant nothing, especially to Ben who already had such a solidified outlook. 

-

“Ben, we’ve been friends for, what, nine years?” Hux asked, setting his glass of wine onto the end table. It was custom after Thursday night dinner to return to Hux’s apartment for a few drinks, and tonight was no exception.

“Excuse me,” Ben scoffed, shooting Hux a look from where he was hanging upside down on an arm chair. “It will be ten years next Thursday,” 

“Ten years,” Hux corrected himself, his arm already reaching out to draw his drink back to his lips. 

“A real friend would know that,” Ben said indignantly. 

“Yeah, well, I am the worst,” Hux retorted with a click of his tongue. 

Ben pulled himself up to sit properly in the chair again, reaching for his beer and taking a long swig. Hux watched him half in fascination and half in disgust. The only thing any alcohol besides red wine was kept in his apartment was for Ben. 

“So,” Ben hiccuped, setting his bottle down onto a coaster. Hux reveled in the fact that he didn’t need to be reminded, and felt his chest lurch with something he could have sworn was fondness, though he was quick to dismiss it as heartburn. 

“So,” Hux spoke slowly, eyebrows quirked.

“Why the sudden interest in how long we’ve been friends?” Ben asked curiously. Hux felt his cheeks heat up slightly, a curse of his red headed genetics mixed with the alcohol, and shook his head.

“It’s not sudden,” he grumbled and Ben waved his stubbornness off with a flick of his wrist. “I was just thinking that friends of ten years-”

“Best friends of ten years,” Ben corrected with a smile. Hux shot him a look that would send anyone else running, but only made Ben laugh.

“Best friends of ten years don’t interrupt each other,” he warned and though Ben’s mouth opened with another retort Hux rushed in his next point all too quickly for him to butt in, “and, best friends of ten years usually have met each other’s families,” 

Ben’s wide mouthed grin broke, snapping into a firm line of pressed lips. Hux swallowed slowly, circling his wine glass with his finger as he awaited a response.

“I haven’t met your family,” he countered, and oh, there was that recognizable look in his eyes that Hux knew meant a battle to the end of their wits. Unless he could out strategize, outmaneuver, then he may have a shot at a clean victory. 

“I have a family reunion this summer,” Hux said with a look of utter confidence, “that I would love for you to attend with me,” 

“Lovely,” Ben spoke through gritted teeth. “I was thinking of inviting my mother up to the city sometime next fall,” 

“Ben,” Hux set down his glass to stare at him intently, and Ben mimicked the movement. 

“Hux,” he challenged right back, stance unbreakable but Hux could see the weakness behind his eyes. 

“You need to go home,” Hux spoke, voice commanding at this point. 

“Then I’ll call a cab,” Ben sneered, and Hux pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Now is not the time to be difficult,” he murmured.

“Oh, well isn’t that rich coming from you,” Ben slumped back into his chair, and Hux took a deep breath as he watched his opponent slowly giving in. 

“It’s not going to be nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be-” Hux started, but before he could finish Ben lurched forward in his seat. 

“I’ll be alone, Hux. Just like last time, I’ll be the odd one out and sit there wishing for the week to be over so that I don’t have to sit under the scrutiny of a family that doesn’t seem to want nor need me anymore,” he exploded, burying his face in his hands when he finished as if to hide himself away.

“You won’t be alone,” Hux frowned, his voice soft and sad as he awkwardly watched his best friend. 

“Listen, it’s a nice sentiment and I appreciate you for trying to unite me with my family, but I really can’t-” Ben rambled, and Hux reached out to place a hand firmly on his back.

“You won’t be alone,” he repeated, more forcefully this time. Ben looked up from his hands, confused at the argument, or lackthereof. 

“I don’t… I don’t understand what you mean,” he admitted, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion and Hux just sighed as he squeezed his best friend’s shoulder.

“You won’t be alone,” Hux explained carefully, “because I am going to be there with you,” 

Ben’s eyebrows shot up in a mixture of surprise and confusion, he pulled back to look at Hux for some sign of a joke. There was only fierce commitment in his eyes, a look so serious that Ben had to glance down at his feet. 

“It’s a five day trip, you’d be missing work and it’s not like it’s really a vacation by any means. Plus, you wouldn’t know anyone and you’d have to be in a ton of uncomfortable situations,” Ben babbled on, watching Hux to see what condition would send him reeling from his offer. 

“Ben,” Hux spoke calmly, “You are my best friend. There is nothing in the world that I would not do for you. I am going to stick by your side the entire time. There is nothing you could say to me that would change my mind,” 

Ben’s eyes widened with something Hux couldn’t quite recognize, and he surged forward to pull him into a hug. Hux felt the wind rush from his body at Ben’s tight grip, and he did his best to reciprocate the action.

“Besides,” he coughed, attempting to even out his breathing after the encounter, “I’ll be fucked if I miss this banger of a party,” 

-


	2. La Naissance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I published chapter two incredibly quickly after the first! Thanks for all of the positive feedback so far - I appreciate it!

“The plane leaves tomorrow,” Ben reminds him, pacing back and forth around the office. Hux glances up for half a second, humming an affirmation. It does nothing to quell the visible panic in front of him.

Hux was prone to late nights at the office, but the lengths to which he had gone to prepare himself from a three day leave of absence was astounding. Somehow, he propelled himself from being prepared for the next week to the next month. 

While Ben found it to be enchanting just how much Hux was able to get done for his company since they agreed on the trip, he was less confident about Hux’s ability to prepare for their “vacation”. 

“I am not a child,” Hux reminded him, shooting a look of warning. “You don’t have to coddle and remind me of the travel plans. I’m prepared,” 

“Well how prepared is prepared,” Ben asked anxiously, repeating the word ‘prepared’ several times to himself under his breath. Hux fended off the smile that threatened his lips. 

“I am packed, have two forms of photo identification handy in a regulation sized carry on, and the outfit I will wear to the airport is hung and ready to go,” Hux drawled and Ben scrunched up his nose slightly. 

“In this carry on…” he asked tentatively, and Hux looked up from his typing to give Ben a look of boredom.

“Yes, there’s snacks,” Hux confirmed, and a bright smile spread across Ben’s face. Before he could get anything else out, Hux continued, “I have both treats and healthy options. All allowed on flights,”

Ben grinned, and Hux felt some of his own stress deflate at the sight. He faltered for a moment, losing his train of thought within the memo he was pounding away at. From the corner of his eye, he watched Ben slump into a chair at the other side of his desk, shooting him a bright smile. 

“You’re a nuisance,” Hux quipped, finding the word better than ‘distraction’. Admitting that Ben had the power to draw Hux’s attention from his work was admitting defeat. And that was something he refused to do. 

“I’m your nuisance,” Ben preened, and Hux lost all ability to think in the blink of an eye. He kept tapping his fingers to keep up appearances, typing random letters in the text box of his memo. 

“No,” Hux grumbled, “just a nuisance,” 

Ben pouted, jutting his lower lip out as far as it would go. Hux bit back a grin, trying to keep his eyes focused on the screen in front of him. Of course, when Hux was trying to get his work done, Ben was in the mood for attention.

Hux had known Ben for ten years though, and by now it was common knowledge to him that ignoring him would do nothing. Ben would receive his attention one way or another, no matter how far he had to go to get it.

“You’re such a little shit,” Hux breathed, noticing Ben’s mouth opening in response, “and before you can say it, no. You’re not my little shit,” 

Ben’s pout took over his face again, and he rested his chin in his arms at the edge of Hux’s desk. Thankfully, he had regained his train of thought and was just putting the finishing touches on his memo.

Unfortunately, Ben was getting more restless by the second. He reached out to paw at Hux’s hands, making him add extra letters to the words he typed. Hux shot a warning look, and Ben’s face turned even grumpier as he petulantly kicked his feet against the desk. 

“I already have one pet, I’m not in the market for another,” Hux commented, pressing send on the memo and stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s past midnight,” Ben ignored the jab, studying Hux’s face carefully. “You look exhausted,” 

“And don’t you look just ravishing as well,” Hux grimaced, pushing his chair back to stand up. Once again, he stretched out his body, letting out a small sigh as he did so. When he turned back, Ben was staring off out the window with a faint blush tinting his cheeks. 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing. It wasn’t like Ben to get embarrassed by his quips, especially at this point in their friendship, but it was late and the man had been plenty moody lately. 

“You’re too tired to drive,” Ben accused gently, standing up to study Hux closer. Hux scoffed in disbelief, setting a hand on his hip as he went to launch into a protest.

Ben reached out to hold his shoulder, the large hand squeezing tightly. Hux melted into the touch, his neck stiff from the constant hunching over the desk he had done in the last week. 

“You’re not driving my car,” he shot back through gritted teeth, trying his hardest not to revel in the pressure on his shoulder. Ben released his grip, dropping his hand back to his side and Hux immediately returned to his proper position. 

“I’m too tired to drive,” Ben admitted, a loud yawn accentuating his point. Hux threw his hands up in the air, waiting impatiently for the solution to the problem.

“Well?” he asked, hand fluttering instinctively back to his hip and had he stomped his foot he may resemble that of a toddler in a tiara. 

“Hux,” Ben laughed easily, shaking his head and making his way towards the door. “Buddy, I live two blocks away, remember?”

Hux’s face screwed up into that of disgust, wondering if there was any worse fate than spending the night at Ben’s apartment, even crashing his car. 

-

“Oh my god, I would rather sleep in the street,” Hux crowed from his spot in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and eyes scanning the studio apartment. 

Ben scoffed, holding a hand over his heart as he haphazardly moved a few dishes from the end table to the sink. Hux was going to die if he spent the night, he knew it. 

“It is not that bad,” Ben defended, looking around the room with what Hux could identify as some sort of pride.

“Let me ask you, Ben, how many rats have you found crawling around this place?” Hux deadpanned, “A rough estimate will do, you know, if you lost count,” 

Ben truly looked offended now, his bottom lip jutting out again as he glanced around the apartment. Hux felt a tinge of regret, well aware that this was the best that Ben could do right now, but it dissipated as soon as he noticed the singular place to sleep. 

“Where is the couch?” Hux asked brazenly, and Ben scratched the back of his neck.

“I mean I don’t… I don’t usually have company, especially since you’re so adamant about only going to your place-” Ben explained.

“Because you don’t have a couch,” Hux interrupted dryly, and Ben held up a finger to warn him into silence.

“Which you didn’t even know-” Ben argued again.

“Which I will definitely keep in mind now,” Hux interrupted once more, and when Ben stomped his foot he let a wide grin spread across his face for just a second. 

“I’m not gonna hold this conversation against you,” Ben said, sucking in a deep breath, “Because you are very over-tired, and because we are going to be spending the next five days constantly together,” 

“Well, that’s your mistake, really,” Hux shrugged, and Ben marched over to tug him from where he was standing and drag him to the bed. 

Hux’s eyes widened in surprise, and despite his effort to yank himself free he was quickly transported to the other side of the room. Ben was strong, it was clear as day when looking at him, but Hux had never experienced it for himself.

“Um,” Hux swallowed, looking to where he had been brought. No witty comment was coming right now, and he cursed his lack of sleep for the trouble.

“Wait here,” Ben commanded, voice low and rough. He spun on his heel to cross the room and paw at his dresser, pulling out a shirt and sweatpants. 

Ben tossed them in Hux’s direction, and Hux caught them with an ease he internally thanked himself for. The two changed into sleeping clothes, and Hux climbed into the bed without another word of protest. 

Hux had half expected Ben to snag a pillow from the bed and curl up on the ground. Instead, the oversized body clamored into bed beside him and stole the sheets. 

They laid in silence for some time, neither one asleep but not completely awake either. It was like a dream, despite their lucidity. Hux was aware of every breath Ben took beside him, and kept his back turned to avoid as much confrontation as possible.

“Fuck,” Hux mumbled into the pillow, opening his sleep heavy eyes. “Millicent is going to be so pissed that I didn’t make it home to feed her dinner,” 

The thought of his beloved cat going without a meal was enough to make Hux sit up and start to weasel his way from the blankets. He could just take a cab home, it was only two in the morning, Millicent liked the night better anyways and would most likely be up-

Ben’s arm reached out to gently press Hux back into the mattress, disrupting his train of thought. He let out a small noise of protest, turning over to stare at Ben in disbelief. 

“I fed her,” Ben drawled out, returning his arm to cradle his pillow. Hux blinked in confusion. “I knew you were going to be working late again, so I stopped by this evening to give her dinner,” 

Hux opened his mouth to ask Ben a question, but he didn’t know what to ask. The other’s eyes were still closed, the topic obviously not affecting him. Hux was unsure as to why everything tonight was having such an impact. 

“Thank you,” Hux blurted out finally, his voice sweet and sincere. It prompted Ben to open his eyes, staring at Hux curiously from his side of the bed. 

The two sat in silence for a moment, yet it felt unlike any silence they had shared before. Ben’s eyes shimmered in the light from the street that seeped in through broken and bent blinds. Hux felt his breath catch in his throat for reasons he could not explain.

The sounds of the street seemed distant compared to the thudding of his own heart. It had grown loud in his ears, and he willed it to be quiet. Hux wondered if Ben could hear it as well, hoped to god that he couldn’t. 

“It was no problem,” Ben’s whisper sent tingles down Hux’s spine, “I would do anything for,” his voice faltered for a second, eyebrows scrunching and split second panic flooding his eyes. “Millicent,” Ben finished quickly. 

Hux mouthed the name, head pulling back in confusion and surprise, but Ben was already too busy rolling onto his other side to notice. 

-

“Yes, Mom, we’re on the way to the airport now,” Hux listened to Ben sighing into the phone. Suddenly, he reached out to grip onto the console so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Hux looked over with a look of sheer panic, almost certain that Ben’s mother was killed on the other line mid sentence. He mouthed frantic questions, and watched as the color drained from Ben’s face.

“Yes ‘we’ as in I’m bringing someone,” Ben choked out and Hux almost pulled the car over on the side of the highway upon hearing those words. “Did I not mention it?” Ben laughed weakly, and Hux punched him hard on the thigh. 

Hux, being the great friend that he was, offered to go with Ben to this family get together. And Ben, being the absolute piece of garbage that he was, didn’t alert anyone of this. Fantastic. 

“No, it’s just Hux,” Ben wavered, and Hux really punched him hard this time. Ben’s face contorted in pain that he tried to conceal from his voice, promising he would call his mother when they landed and that he couldn’t wait to see her. 

“Just Hux?” Hux huffed, throwing in a few extra slaps for good measure. Ben shoved his arm back to his spot in the driver’s seat. “You actual fuck. No one knows that I’m coming,” 

“She’s excited!” Ben promised, his eyes pleading as he covered his face with his hands. “She’s been wanting to meet you for years, I talk about you all the time,” 

Hux’s anger dulled momentarily, more intrigued at the moment. Ben talks about him to his mother. He tried not to wonder what was said.

“I would have assumed you cleared it with her,” Hux said, voice almost like a scolding parent, “but they’re not going to be pissed that I’m showing up essentially unannounced?”

“Technically, I just announced it,” Ben offered weakly, and Hux just sighed in response. 

If the remaining five days went the same way as the drive to the airport, Ben wasn’t going to have much skin left not covered in Hux-made bruises. 

-

The flight is about four hours, which is nothing to Hux. For business, he’s flown across the world. For Ben, however, it proved to be a challenge.

“Does your mother know about Millicent,” Hux asked, as they’re settling into the seats and buckling the belts. Millicent’s carrier slid swiftly under the seat in front of them, and she only let out one mewl of protest. 

“My mom loves cats,” Ben assured him, leg bouncing up and down nervously. Hux takes a deep breath.

“That is not the question that I asked,” he reminded him, turning to face Ben properly, “I asked if your mother knows-”

“Please, Hux, can we not argue about this right now,” Ben pleaded, voice gentle as he grips the armrests. Hux noticed that, like in the car, his knuckles have turned white from the grip.  
It vaguely reminded him of Ben’s hand on his shoulder the night before, in the office. Hux shook the thought of fervently, biting the inside of his cheek as he tries to attend to Ben’s whimpering. 

“You’re afraid of flying,” Hux commented, and almost slaps himself across the face for the idiocy of the comment. 

Ben just nodded, and Hux realized what a serious fear it must be if he’s not ripping Hux apart with sarcasm. So: how does he fix it?

Hux drew back on the countless romantic comedies Ben has forced him into watching. Whenever they’re on a plane, one of the people is terrified beyond belief. It’s a classic cliche. 

Hux found the idea of he and Ben being a cliche almost funny, until he realized the implications of relating them to a romantic comedy. The thought was quickly disposed of before it can grow. 

Within these movies, the common method of comfort is physical affection. Hux plays the thought over in his head. It has worked before, so it may work now. 

Agreeing on a tactic, Hux pried one of Ben’s hands from the armrest. Before he can tug away to grab something else, Hux entwined their fingers together. 

Ben’s eyes opened slowly, and his head turned to look at Hux. Gratitude washed over his expression, and Hux felt warmth inside his chest when he realized that he made the right call. 

The fact that Ben almost broke his fingers during take off is a small price to pay for the pride he feels in his decision. It was nice to do something for Ben that made him feel even a little better, Hux realized. 

When they were steadily in the air, Ben didn’t let go of Hux’s hand. He stared out the window in astonishment, but still clung to the other. Hux didn’t comment on it, only let Ben use his hand until he felt comfortable enough to let go. 

“So the cat,” Hux blurted out, unable to keep the feel good moment alive for more than a few seconds. Ben’s expression changed into irritation, and he pulled his phone from his pocket. 

Ben hooked himself up to the airplane’s wireless internet so that he may send his mother an e-mail regarding the cat. Hux poked and prodded, insisting on seeing the message before it was sent. 

It read, “Hey mom, Hux is dating his cat and can’t last two minutes without the thing sitting in his lap. Even the plane ride has been constant complaining because he misses her and she’s two feet away. Hope you don’t mind that she’s coming, but Hux wouldn’t dare go anywhere without her.” 

Hux scoffed indignantly, swiping the phone from Ben’s still trembling hands. He made a quick mental note of that and kept one hand tightly wrapped in the other’s hand while he rewrote the message with the other.

When he turned back to Ben, he was giving him a look he had never received before. Hux frowned, shoving the phone into his lap for the other to read. Ben hit the send button without a second glance, and Hux snickered to himself. 

 

-

“Please just be mom, please just be mom, please just be mom,” Ben whispered under his breath as they made their way to the baggage claim. Hux watched him carefully, silently repeating the same prayer in his own head.

The anxiety of meeting his family coupled with flying had left Ben a nervous wreck. He was still shaking, and Hux had no idea how to subdue it. The only time that it seemed to diminish was when he held Ben’s hand.

Seeming like the most reasonable thing to do, Hux stuck his hand out and held tightly to Ben’s. Ben paused in chanting his mantra, turning to Hux with a look of appreciation. Hux just shrugged, and led him through the crowd of people to where the dozens of luggage carousels sat. 

“Would you like to sit with Millicent and wait, or come with me to get the luggage?” Hux asked, rewriting the list in his head to plan for the events of the next few hours. Ben hesitated a moment, and stepped forward to be closer to Hux. 

Hux took that as the answer it was meant to be, and cautiously led Ben across the room. He could be set off at any second into an anxiety attack by the looks of him, and Hux was determined not to let that happen.

“And word on whether or not Millie will be sleeping outside?” Hux asked, his voice tinted with gentle teasing. Ben laughed weakly, nodding as he pulled out his phone.

“She’s hoping Millie will be able to convince my dad that there is a definite need for a cat around the house,” Ben answered slowly, his voice more drawn out than usual. Hux studied his expression for everything and anything it had to offer. 

To let Ben regain his sanity, Hux stopped asking questions. Instead, the two stood watching for their luggage and holding hands as tightly as possible without discomfort. Hux kept careful track of Ben’s pulse, and smiled to himself when he felt it start to go down. 

Somehow, he managed to get the suitcases with one hand while the other remained gripping onto Ben’s. Millicent mewled with distaste from her place on the floor, and Hux promised that he would hold onto her soon enough.

It was not unlikely that the people around him thought he was crazy, talking to the cat and almost killing himself to get the suitcases with one hand. But Hux had long given up on worrying what others thought of him. That was, until he was face to face with Leia Organa. 

Hux hadn’t recognized the name at first, not knowing anyone besides himself who was in the habit of referring to Ben as ‘Benny’. But Ben noticed, and his pulse skyrocketed once more as soon as he heard his mother’s voice calling out for him. 

Hux dropped Ben’s hand as quickly as he had taken it, crouching down to scoop up Millicent’s carrier. When he looked up, a small woman that he recognized from pictures was pulling Ben into a giant hug. 

Beside her, stood a slightly taller girl who couldn’t have been more than twenty or so. Rey. Hux recognized her from pictures as well, and he offered her a gentle smile. Rey seemed to be surprised at the gesture, and lifted a hand up to wave in his direction.

“Oh, Benny, I swear you get taller every time I see you,” Leia crooned, holding onto her son’s arms tightly. Ben’s face was warm and happy, and while the anxiety was still obvious he looked more at ease now. 

“I’ve been the same height for twelve years, Mom,” Ben laughed, and tugged her back for another hug.

Upon seeing Rey, his demeanor shifted. Her eyes held hope, but it was quickly diminished when she saw the way he looked at her. 

Hux wanted to say something, wanted to whack Ben and tell him what an idiot he was being, but his position stayed stiff and firm as he focused on not shaking Millicent’s carrier. 

“Hux!” Leia cried out, pulling back from her son to look at the man. She walked to him with arms outstretched, and he quickly passed off the carrier to an awaiting Ben before accepting the hug. “I’ve been hearing about you for ten years,” 

“Good things, I hope,” Hux shot a look in Ben’s direction, and he held his hands up as if to say he was innocent. 

“Of course, of course,” Leia waved it off, “My Ben just adores you, honestly, all he can talk about some days is how much-” 

“Hux, this is Rey,” Ben interjected, gesturing to the girl standing awkwardly to the side. Hux bit back a smile at the news of Ben’s adoration, but realized Leia was most like exaggerating. It’s how mothers were. 

“Ah, Rey, the girl I’ve heard so much about,” Hux introduced himself charmingly, and the girl looked between he and Ben in surprise. 

“So much?” she repeated, obviously suspicious.

“Really just, a standard amount,” Ben corrected and Hux shot him a look that was meant to shoot daggers into his chest. It seemed to work. 

Rey’s smile faltered slightly, and Hux almost felt bad. He understood the difficult relationship between the two. However, Rey didn’t seem to. 

“Ben, you’re so cranky after you fly. Don’t be rude to your sister,” Hux warned, and Ben’s face contorted with betrayal. 

Leia led the way to the car, rambling about what a great week it would be to have everyone back at the house. Ben seethed beside him, and Hux reached out to touch his shoulder. 

“I’m here,” he reminded him, “I’m yours,” 

And if Leia and Rey heard the soft exchange between the two, neither mentioned it. 

-

“No,” Ben said, shaking his head as he watched Leia and Rey move to open the trunk. “Take me back to the airport. I’m not doing it,” 

“Ben,” Hux sighed, unbuckling his belt and moving to help with the luggage. “You are being absolutely ridiculous,”

“I’m not leaving this car until he’s gone,” Ben whispered, face deadly serious and voice borderline threatening. Hux rolled his eyes, and climbed out of the back seat to grab their luggage. 

Leia and Rey exchanged worried looks, whispering among themselves as they stole glances at Ben. He sat firmly, refusing to move, with Millicent perched in his lap. At least he would have someone to protest with. 

“Not to worry, he’s just a little travel sick,” Hux lied with ease, and they soaked it up. The feeling of relief washed over the group, and they laughed nervously as they insisted on helping Hux bring the things in. 

Before Hux could protest, the luggage was taken from his hands and Leia assured him that they could handle it. His priority was to lure Ben out of the car, apparently, and he imagined how poorly that would go. 

“I see the traitor is back,” Ben commented when Hux clamored into the car again. 

“Well I’m not going to be rude to your mother, am I?” Hux bickered, and Ben’s resolve cracked ever so slightly. 

“I told you that I’m not leaving this car-” Ben started, and Hux cut him off. 

“Until Poe Dameron leaves, yes, yes, I understand,” Hux nodded, and Ben shot him a wary look. “Millicent, however, must get inside. She needs her dinner,” Hux reminded him.

“You’re fucking cruel,” Ben spit out, but sighed in resignation.

Hux grinned like a fool, mentally thanking Millicent for the help. Ben refused to let go of her, only held tighter as Hux helped him out of the car and across the lawn. 

For a moment, it seemed like they may make it. Poe was halfway across the lawn, tending to the grill. Hux almost believed that he hadn’t even noticed them. It was wishful thinking. 

“Bring Millicent inside,” Ben commanded quietly. “I don’t want his scummy hands to ever touch her,” 

Hux shot him a look of complete and utter disbelief, but took the cat anyways. Ben gently pushed Hux by the small of his back, and led him to the door. As Hux was slipping inside, he heard Ben’s name called out. 

“It’s too late for me,” he spoke dramatically, and Hux used all of his willpower to keep from rolling his eyes. “He hasn’t seen you, take care of the cat. Millicent, I love you,” Ben choked out.

The sound of footsteps approaching caused Ben to shut the door, and Hux wondered briefly if he had walked into a soap opera instead of a family home. 

Leia waited inside with a wide grin, Rey perched on a stool in the kitchen beside her. They welcomed Hux in, and thankfully took Millicent into their arms. 

“I, uh, I’m gonna check on Ben,” Hux started, pointed towards the door. 

“Oh, honey, don’t you worry about Poe. They were just a summer fling years ago,” Leia tutted, patting Hux’s arm sympathetically. 

“I- what?” Hux asked, confusion surfacing. Rey only smirked at she pet Millicent. 

“Besides, Poe is just head over heels for his fiancee, Finn. And Ben is absolutely enamored with you-” Leia continued and Rey jabbed her in the side.

“Mom, Ben would murder you if he-” Rey warned, and Leia waved her hands around in surrender. 

Before Hux could interject and explain the severe misunderstanding of his relationship to Ben, his phone buzzed with a message from none other than him.

‘Help.’ it read, and Hux faked a quick smile before insisting that he really should be checking in, and walked quickly towards the door.

He could still hear Leia and Rey tutting over him as he walked out, talking about the obsessiveness of young love. 

-

Hux could hear the two of them before he was in their line of sight. He could hear them, and he knew why Ben sent the distressed text within three seconds. Poe Dameron knows how to rile Ben up, that is for sure. 

“After you left for school, Han didn’t know what he was gonna do! His only son, gone halfway across the country for… say, what is it you ended up studying?” Poe asked, and Hux can feel his blood boiling from where he is. 

“Art,” Ben spit out, and Poe’s laugh is almost malicious.

“Right, art. Is that going well? You’re not living on the streets, are you?” Poe chuckled, and Hux wants to punch Poe square in the jaw for the words. 

“It’s just swimmingly,” Ben sneered. 

“It’s so nice to see someone from the family taking over the shop. For the longest time, it was just your dad and I. And while they consider me a part of the family, it’s not the same as Rey getting involved, you know?” Poe sighed. 

“Of course,” Ben replied dryly. 

Hux rounded the house to where Ben and Poe had moved to, out in the backyard where the grill was stationed. Poe’s back was to him, but he quickly caught Ben’s eye. Ben looked so happy to see him that he may break down crying, and Hux restrained himself from breaking into a full sprint to get to him. 

“I swear, she acts more like your dad than you do, it’s so-” Poe’s voice cut out halfway through the word, eyes holding onto Hux’s as he sidled next to Ben properly. “Hello there, Leia never mentioned you were bringing a guest, Benny. I’m Poe.”

“It was,” Ben’s voice is strained, the casual nature of Poe’s relationship with his family cutting him like a knife, “a last minute arrangement.”

Poe’s eyes shifted back to Ben, a look of triumph in his gaze. Perhaps it was the cockiness that Dameron is bleeding, or the look of complete and utter distress in his friend’s eyes, but Hux could not hold back the lie that bubbled up in his throat.

“You know Ben, he’s a disaster when it comes to planning in advance,” Hux laughed lightly, dropping his hand to entwine his fingers in Ben’s. “I’m Hux, his boyfriend.”

For a moment, the look that flashed across Poe’s face was enough justification for Hux’s lie. When he felt Ben tense up, however, he wondered just how well it would go. 

“Boyfriend,” Poe whistled, eyes intent on Ben. It was as if Hux wasn’t there anymore, and he felt slightly out of his comfort zone as the animosity between the two heated up. “I can’t believe the King of no titles and attachments has a boyfriend,” 

The words were a direct attack on Ben, and Hux looked to him anxiously. They had talked a fair deal about relationships and whatnot in the past, but Ben didn’t have much to offer. Just an ex that became the son his dad had always wanted. Normal things like that. 

“I mean, our little fling was over a decade ago. Of course I’ve grown since then,” Ben laughed easily, and Hux noticed the way the phrase ‘little fling’ sent Poe reeling on his feet. Hux overflowed with pride for his ruthless friend. 

“Of course,” Poe clicked his tongue, and the anger that dominated him soon disappeared. “I’m happy you finally grew up, Ben. It was tough for the rest of us waiting around and watching. Your dad thought it would never happen,” 

“Jesus Christ,” Hux gawked, and as if dragged back to reality Poe’s cheeks flushed a deep red. His eyes flickered from Hux to Ben, stuttering out a quick apology.

“Sorry I- sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he coughed, nodding curtly as he turned on his heel. Hux watched the man walk across the yard, and into the house where Leia and Rey were most likely waiting.

Hux felt his own cheeks flush slightly, as he awaited Ben’s response to their newfound relationship. A bitter moment may have ruined the next five days, hell, it may have put a serious bump in their friendship, and Hux only hoped Ben wouldn’t be as dramatic as usual. 

To his surprise, Ben laughed. It wasn’t a regular laugh either, it was a deep seated belly laugh that had him doubled over and clutching his stomach. 

Ben held out a hand to rest on Hux’s shoulder to keep himself up, his body convulsing with the fits of giggles that tore through him. Hux watched with cautious eyes at first, but soon ended up laughing himself. 

Before long, the two of them were collapsed in the grass, wheezing from the bouts of laughters that shook them. Ben mimicked Hux’s words, cackling with every time he remembered what had happened between the two and Poe.

From inside, Leia watched with knowing eyes as her son and his best friend rolled around the yard laughing until they couldn’t breathe properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 introduces Han Solo!


	3. You Don't Know How Lucky You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The ending of this chapter was edited slightly from its original posting.

“We should probably,” Hux kept his voice low, and an eye on the closed door, “talk about this. Right?” 

Ben didn’t respond, just heaved his suitcase onto the bed, singular bed, and began rifling through the pockets. Hux stood by the door, his knuckles aching from the tight grip kept on his own bag. 

“Ben,” his voice was sharp, like an owner scolding their dog. Ben looked up with an expression of boredom. Sometimes it was incredibly hard for Hux not to strangle him.

“Talk about what, honey?” Ben shmoozed, and Hux’s jaw dropped as he stuttered to find the right words.

Never had he expected this side of Ben, this overconfident, arrogant, testing side of Ben, to emerge during the week. It put a wrench into his plans, and his brain whirred with the resorting of his mental lists.

“Listen to me very carefully,” Hux commanded, dropping his bag to march over to Ben. He held a finger out, jabbing Ben in the chest roughly and staring at him menacingly. 

Ben didn’t speak, only held his breath and teetered back slightly. The bed prevented him from moving more than an inch or two, and he faltered as he sat down with a loud thud on the mattress.

Hux reveled in the new power he held, towering over Ben with ease. It wasn’t common that he had an advantage in height, but he knew exactly what to do with it. 

“I left my work for you, I flew halfway across the country for you, I am staying in the home of a family I do not know for five days for you,” Hux started, and Ben coughed.

“Technically, I’ve seen you working several times already during the trip,” he interjected, “And, I mean you did offer completely unprovoked-”

“That is not the point,” Hux snapped in a harsh whisper. 

Ben grinned, clearly unaffected by Hux’s techniques in intimidation though he tried. It seemed that his place on the bed was only to go along with the ruse, and see just how worked up he could get the other. 

“What I am trying to say,” Hux took a deep breath, “Is that I am doing this for you,”

Ben narrowed his eyes, waiting for the further guilt trip or power tactic. When nothing came, he nodded slowly in confirmation. 

“So,” Hux reached out to clap a hand on Ben’s shoulder, “I would love it if you lend me a bit of generosity, and help me plan this lie,” 

“The lie you told,” Ben quipped, and Hux groaned as his head fell back. Ben’s arms shot out to grab Hux by his waist, keeping him from stumbling back any further.

Hux didn’t move, just tipped his head back to the normal position and stared down at Ben patiently. It was now or never, they were expected for dinner in ten minutes and Hux could feel the stress of potentially being caught in their lie pile onto his shoulders. 

“My love,” Ben whispered, voice achingly sincere in a way that made Hux’s stomach flip, “I would like nothing more than to plan my life with you,” 

Hux smiled at this, feeling finally like he had won control of the situation. As long as he was in charge, he felt a sense of confidence. 

“Sentiment doesn’t suit you,” Hux sniveled, shoving Ben’s hands from his waist and crossing the room to reclaim his bag. 

“But you do, sweetheart,” Ben sighed dreamily, rolling onto his stomach to stare longingly in Hux’s direction.

Hux pretended to gag, tugging his bag across the rug to the edge of the bed. Millicent mewled petulantly from her side of the bed, and Ben’s hand stuck out within a second to soothe her. 

“How long have we been together,” Hux asked briskly, pulling out his tablet to start a new document. 

“Romantic,” Ben snorted, rolling again so that he was now on his back. “It’s new. Let’s say, a few months. Then I have an excuse as to why I didn’t tell my mom,”

“A few months,” Hux repeated, scrolling through his calendar, “Let’s say, late February?” 

“Valentine’s Day?” Ben perked up, looking at Hux excitedly. Hux sneered in response.

“No,” he shook his head in disgust, “I refuse to even acknowledge that greeting card holiday, let alone suffer through an anniversary on the same day-”

“For our fake relationship,” Ben qualified, and Hux ignored the blush blossoming on his cheeks. “Fine, pumpkin, we’ll do late February,”

Hux scoffed at the nickname, and Ben’s eyebrows shot up. It seemed that he found the perfect recurring nickname, the one that would make Hux steam every time he heard it. 

“Pumpkin,” Ben tested out the waters, and Hux ignored him as he typed the new information into his tablet, “Oh, baby, don’t give me that grouchy face,”

Hux focused all of his efforts on staying calm under the rapid fire of pet names. He had never been referred to as anything of the sort, and it made his stomach churn.

“Here,” Hux grumbled, shoving the tablet into Ben’s hands. He was still laying on his back, with Millicent now curled up happily on his stomach. 

“Christ, Huxy,” Ben mumbled, looking over the various details his best friend had come up with in the span of five minutes.

“I told you not to call me-” Hux gasped out, about to burst and Ben lazily swatted a hand out to pet Hux’s arm.

“Sorry, pumpkin,” he murmured, eyes scanning the story of their first date, the various relationship quirks, and other minute details involving their so called relationship.

Hux stood awkwardly, unsure what Ben would think of it all. Granted, the majority of his list stemmed from romantic comedy tropes. A few of the main points read:  
Met in college and remained best friends throughout 20’s  
Ben made the first move in late February (Feb 25)  
First date was at their favorite restaurant (Pink Elephant)  
Ben bought two dozen roses  
Do NOT live together  
NO sex

“Two dozen roses is a bit excessive,” Ben commented.

“Well, you are very infatuated with me,” Hux shot back, smoothing out his button up shirt carefully. 

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment, but his lips parted like he wanted to. In the next second, the thought passed and returned to staring at the screen.

“No sex, huh?” Ben snickered, and Hux swiped the electronic back from his hands. 

“I’m saving myself for marriage,” Hux huffed, “Hypothetically,” he added immediately afterwards.

Ben didn’t say anything else, just scratched behind Millicent’s ears while Hux puttered around the room to organize everything. In the three minutes he had until they were called to dinner, Hux managed to unpack each suitcase and sort the clothes into vacant drawers. 

When he turned back to face Ben, he caught him staring. Both averted their eyes immediately, looking to random corners of the room.

Leia, the saving grace she was, rapped at the door half a dozen times. Hux jumped with surprise, mixed with the jitteriness of the situation, and made his way to the door. 

“We’ll be out in one second,” he promised hospitably, shooting a look at Ben to urge him to get moving. 

Ben took his sweet time, gently placing Millicent onto a fluffed pillow before he sat up. When he stood, he noticed the excessive amount of ginger cat hair lining his dark sweater. His clumsy hands attempted to swat it away, and Hux let out an exasperated breath. 

Pulling a lint roller from his carry on bag, he approached Ben wordlessly. Ben stuck out his arms in a T-shape, smiling pleasantly as Hux ran over his clothing with the tool.

“-absolute mess, I swear sometimes if it wasn’t for me you’d be running around with God knows what all over your clothes,” Hux rambled as he worked the tool along Ben’s torso.

From the doorway, they heard a cut off giggle and Hux whipped around to see Rey standing pleasantly. She held her hand over her mouth, eyes wide and almost fearful as she held Ben’s gaze.

“It’s, um,” she started and Ben brushed her off.

“We know,” he spoke curtly, and Rey nodded with the same bluntness as she turned on her heel to walk towards the dining room.

Hux shot Ben a look, mixed with irritation and disappointment. Ben only looked confused in return, unsure as to why Hux continuously was taking Rey’s side.

“I’m not taking her side,” Hux responded, knowing Ben’s expressions without needing to hear the words. “I think she’s really trying,” 

Ben clucked his tongue, arms crossed over his freshly lint rolled chest. Hux returned the tool to his bag, and beckoned Ben to follow.

“You don’t know her,” Ben assured him in a harsh whisper, “Everything she does, she does to be better than me and win my parents’ favor-”

“You don’t know her either,” Hux snapped, voice soft so that no one in the kitchen may hear him. “It’s been five years. She’s grown up, give her a chance,” 

Ben took the words into consideration, something that surprised Hux. Almost instinctively now, Hux looped their fingers together and led Ben into what promised to be another battle. 

-

“So,” Leia chirped from the head of the table, ladeling salad into her bowl, “You two have known each other for, what, eight years now?”

“Ten this Thursday,” Hux corrected automatically, and he could feel the intensity of Ben’s stare without needing to look at him.

“Ten!” Leia shook her head in disbelief, “Well, what made you try out a relationship now?”

Hux tried to ignore the people around the table staring at him for an answer. To his left sat Leia, to his right Ben. To Ben’s right was Rey, quiet and watching for a chance to add commentary without receiving a dirty glare from her brother.

Across from Hux was Finn, Poe’s fiancee who was also Rey’s best friend, from what he had been told so far. Next to him, of course, was Poe, whose demeanor had changed completely from their encounter in the yard. 

Finally, at the other end of the table, was Han Solo. He showed up late, sat down without a word, and began piling food onto his plate without so much as a glance in Ben’s direction. 

Now, Han Solo was staring directly at Hux, like he had just realized someone unfamiliar was sitting at the family dinner table. Under the weight of his stare, Hux couldn’t breathe. 

“It was me, actually,” Ben spoke up for him, a hidden hand coming to rest on Hux’s thigh for silent support. “I was the one who uh, made the first move,” 

Hux could have deflated he was so relieved, slipping one of his own hands under the table to squeeze Ben’s thankfully. In the next second, they both returned to their normal positions.

“How sweet,” Leia cooed, marveling at her son. Hux would have felt guilty for the deceit, had the lie not felt so genuine in the moment. 

“It actually took Hux here a while to catch on,” Ben explained, and Hux felt the internal panic alarms going off. Ben was going off script. What was the point in having a plan if he wouldn’t follow it?

Hux turned slightly to catch Ben’s eye, but Ben’s gaze was warm and confident. Hux trusted him with his life in that moment. 

“I took him on a few dates, before he, uh, understood that they were dates,” Ben smiled, and Hux scoffed.

“Well it’s not my fault we have dinner upwards of three times a week normally as it is-” Hux interjected and Ben’s flowing laughter filled the room as he cradled Hux’s cheek for just a moment. 

It looked real, Hux could tell that from the faces of everyone around the table. His cheeks burned a deep red, unused to such blatant attention unless it was in a professional setting. He realized, quickly, that he was out of his element entirely. 

“So finally, after two expensive dinners and a harbor boat ride,” Ben sighed, and faintly Hux remembered the ride they took. 

Ben was adamant about steering clear from boats. Boats of any kind, he despised. Hux had always wanted to go whale watching, but could never schedule it just right. Besides, it was for children. 

But one day, Ben showed up at his apartment unannounced at 5 o’clock on a Saturday morning, dragged Hux from his bed, and informed him that there was a surprise waiting for him. 

Hux was groggy, but Ben’s electricity encouraged him to get ready without too much complaining. By the time they made it to the harbor, Hux was almost asleep on his feet. Ben pulled the bandana from around his eyes, gesturing to the massive boat in front of them.

“Ta-da!” he had screamed, holding up the whale watching tickets in front of Hux’s face and watching the childlike smile spread across it. 

They spent the next three and a half hours at sea, Hux leaning over the railing to point out every glimpse of a whale he saw, and Ben leaning over the railing to hurl his breakfast into the water. 

“Whale watching was a date?” Hux asked, voice soft and the table erupted into laughter around him. Drawn back to reality, Hux reminded himself that it was just a ruse. He had underestimated Ben’s story telling skills.

“God, this one,” Ben chuckled, looking at Hux fondly, “He can run a company without a second thought, but romance is lost on him,”

Hux let out a grouchy sigh, picking up his fork to pick at the food in front of him. Ben’s hand was suddenly on his back, rubbing soothing circles as he continued to speak. 

“So, whale watching resulted in three hours of seasickness and absolutely no results,” Ben explained, and Hux rolled his eyes, “And I realized I would need to make things as obvious as possible,”

Hux glanced up, surprised to see that everyone at the table hung onto Ben’s words. Even Han was showing mild interest between bites of steak. 

“A few days after, Hux finally has a break in his busy work schedule,” Ben continued.

At this point, even Hux was on the edge of his seat waiting to see how the story played out. Suddenly, his drawn out plans on the tablet were scrapped and discarded for Ben’s improvisions. 

“I show up to his apartment with three dozen roses,” Ben waved his hand, as if setting the scene, “Because I am so infatuated with him,” 

At this point, Ben turned to stare directly into Hux’s eyes. They sparkled with mischief and confidence, but something else that Hux couldn’t distinguish as well. Leia let a hand flutter over her heart, cooing at the romantic attempts of her son.

“And I’m standing outside of his door, heart about to beat out of my chest, waiting to see if I had just ruined ten, incredible years of friendship,” Ben spoke, and the energy in the room was almost tangible as they awaited the ending. 

Hux’s eyes flickered from each face, amazed at how easily Ben was able to capture them. He wondered what had gone down the last time he was here, and why Ben was so nervous to come home. There was no reason to be.

“So, the door finally opens, and it feels like Hux is going at about a quarter of the speed he usually is. And I’m standing there, clutching these roses so tightly I can feel the thorns digging into my hands,” Ben reached out to hold the back of Hux’s neck, to keep him sturdy as he continued, “And Hux just looks from me, to the flowers, to the giant card strapped to the front that has ‘I Love You’ scrawled in my messier than usual handwriting, and he just says ‘It’s about goddamn time,’” 

Hux felt his heart lurch in his chest, at the point of almost believing Ben’s words because everything he said felt so real. Hux combed his memory, trying to find this lost one, but to no avail. 

For a moment, the table congratulated the two of them. The mood was bright and chipper, the buzz was almost euphoric. Hux was wrong to have worried, this wasn’t a battle. It was a breeze.

“Yeah that’s nice and all,” Han spoke up for the first time, voice gruff and indifferent, “But would you mind passing the potatoes, someone,” 

The mood dropped in an instant. Leia’s tutting had no effect on Han, he just reached over the table to take the potatoes from Finn’s hands. 

Ben fell silent, clearly disappointed. It wasn’t enough that everyone else had enjoyed the story, not if his father so clearly did not care. 

“It’s really such a nice story-” Leia started, but before she could get through the sentence Han interrupted her.

“Say, uh, Rey,” Han waggled his finger to point at his daughter, “Tell them about that car you fixed the other day,”

Rey’s face blushed a deep red. She kept her head staring in her lap a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Hux felt a twinge of sympathy for the girl. 

“I just, uh, fixed an exterior coolant leak,” Rey coughed, shrugging as she picked at her meal.

Han leaned back in his chair, a look of pride washing over his face. Ben looked like he had been slapped, and Hux realized that Han must have never looked at him the same way. 

“Isn’t that wild?” Han exclaimed, “Her first coolant leak. And she fixed it in an hour. It took Benny six months to learn how to even diagnose a coolant leak. It’s a wonder I ever thought he has what it takes to be a mechanic,” 

Ben stared down at his plate, and the tension between the table rose. Hux saw the slightly smug look on Poe’s face, as if he was reveling in his ex’s uncomfortable situation. Finn, on the other hand, looked mortified. 

Leia was about to tear her husband to bits, from the look on her face. Han simply continued munching on his dinner, unaffected by the friction that had taken over the table. 

“That’s a really good job, Rey,” Ben spoke up finally, voice as sweet as syrup, looking at his sister with a gentle smile. 

Rey’s eyes widened in complete shock, looking back and forth between Han and Ben for a moment as if it was a cruel trick. Hux wondered just how often Han used Rey to rile his son up. 

The rest of the table was equally as surprised. In the thirteen years since they adopted Rey, there had clearly not been many civil conversations between the two siblings, let alone a genuinely kind interaction.

“Thank you, Ben,” Rey answered with a curt nod, and just as easily Ben went back to cutting his steak and popping the pieces in his mouth.

It was only after this that Hux realized he had a tight grip on Ben’s knee. Somewhere during the confrontation, he had instinctively held onto Ben, to silently promise that he was there for him. 

Hux tried not to ask himself what impact that had on Ben’s actions. 

-

“So, your dad is a dick,” Hux agreed, fluffing his pillow before tossing it on the bed. 

Ben laid on his back already, eyes closed and and hands crossed over his chest. Millicent purred from her spot on his stomach, and needily nuzzled his arms. 

“I thought it went nicely,” Ben admitted, and Hux remained quiet. “What are your family dinners like? With the General,” 

Hux scoffed. His father, a General for as long as he could remember, ran his house the way he ran an army. As uptight as Ben accused him of being, things used to be far worse.

“Silent unless spoken to,” Hux reached into the back of his brain to remember the proper meal etiquette of his home. “Father eats first, prayer must last for at least three minutes, no discussion of personal and private matters at the table-”

“Christ,” Ben’s eyes were open now, looking at Hux delicately.

Hux turned away, feeling as though he had already revealed too much. If Ben’s talk of his home life was little, Hux’s was still somehow less. 

“Is that why you left?” Ben asked tentatively. Hux shrugged. 

“We don’t need to talk about it,” Hux said curtly. 

“Hux,” Ben’s voice was gentle, soothing, and Hux wanted nothing more than to listen to it for the rest of the night. 

“I left for a lot of reasons,” Hux cleared his throat. “It’s better here, in the States, than it was over there. I felt… suffocated,” 

It was the most Hux had shared at one time about his family. For ten years he managed to bottle it all away, to forget the past he wish he never had, to hide the family that he was ashamed to be a part of. 

“I wasn’t the dream of an Irish-Catholic son that they always wanted. The house was built on fear, intimidation, not love. Everything had to be perfect and I,” Hux’s voice caught in his throat, “wasn’t,” 

And then, he felt Ben’s arms wrap around him. He held Hux against his chest, Hux still facing the opposite way. After a moment of trying to resist giving in, Hux squirmed his way around to hold Ben’s waist tightly. 

It was so tight he could barely breathe, and Hux shuddered when he felt Ben’s hands tracing shapes along his spine. It was just the two of them, everything else melted away from his thoughts. 

“Traveling just makes me,” Hux sniffled, finally pulling back, “very overtired. Stupidly overtired,” 

Ben nodded at the justification, squeezing Hux’s shoulder one final time. Millicent mewled at their feet, and Hux bent over to scoop her up and hold her tightly to his chest. 

“Come to bed,” Ben coaxed, and the words sent Hux’s head spinning. 

“There is really no spare? Surely the couch cannot be so uncomfortable-” Hux started, feeling the terror rise in his chest.

He remembered laying next to Ben before, how his eyes looked in the starlight, how he felt every breath the other took. It was too much, not when he was so vulnerable.

But Ben took his hand carefully, led him to the bed and pulled back the blankets. He ushered Hux to climb in, which he did, and let Millicent curl up on his chest.

“I’ll take the floor tonight, we need to keep up appearances,” Ben explained, and something like disappointment curled in the pit of Hux’s stomach.

He didn’t disagree when Ben pulled a pillow and blanket from the bed and curled up on the rug. It was better this way, Hux knew that. Besides, Millicent was used to having an entire half of the bed to herself. 

But this time, Millicent seemed awfully small laying next to him. 

-

“So, uh, Red,” Han huffed, awkwardly standing at the counter as Hux helped Rey with the dishes. 

Ben was off showering, Leia had gone to the market, and Poe seemed to remember that the Solo-Organa house was not where he lived. 

“Hux,” he corrected slowly, unsure if Han really didn’t know his name or was just joking. Either way, the nickname had never sat well with him. 

“Huck, right,” Han nodded. 

Rey bit back a smile from beside him. Hux handed her the last bowl to be dried, and then she was off. That left Han and Hux alone in the kitchen. 

“You’re… close friends with Benny,” Han started, and Hux marked this as the shortest conversation to ever make him want to stab his own eyes out. 

“Yes,” Hux leaned against the sink, “Ben and I are in a relationship-”

“Oh, I don’t need to hear about that,” Han shook his head, and Hux found himself taking full offense to the dismissal of his fake relationship.

He could only pray that Ben would pop out of the shower soon and come save him, but he knew how long Ben could draw out a hair was for and had no such hope it would actually happen. 

“Okay,” Hux tried, unsure as to what Han would be getting at. 

“I’m just not interested in hearing about my son’s bedroom habits,” Han shook his head, scratching his beard and Hux was sure he would combust at any given second. 

“Of course,” he choked out, instead. 

“Not to offend you, or anything, I’m sure you’re, uh, arrangement is nice,” Han continued, falling into a web of vaguely homophobic comments that Hux tried to pass off as ignorance instead of maliciousness. 

“Right,” Hux nodded.

“I’ve never been in a relationship with a man, but I did have a friend, Lando, back in high school who I’d sometimes-” Han started and Hux was positive, this was the place he was going to die, 

“Well that’s beside the point,” 

Hux let out a small sigh of relief at the diversion from his best friend’s father’s gay sexual history. Han stood idly for a moment, and Hux drummed his fingers along the edge of the sink to move time along by any means. 

“So Benny,” Han coughed.

“Yes, Benny,” Hux repeated the nickname, willing to say anything to change the topic.

Han scrunched his eyebrows, mimicking Hux’s drumming of his fingers and tapping his foot as well. He looked distressed, like he was working up the courage to say something difficult. 

“He’s… doing alright?” Han asked, and Hux could have punched him in the face for the tension he created to ask that question. 

Hux’s shoulders hunched over slightly, relaxation sweeping his body. The things he had worked up in his head were so much worse than the three word question.

“He’s doing great,” Hux assured him. “He loves his job, he finally got a studio for his artwork, and he’s really excited to reconnect with you all,” 

The last, while a bit of a stretch, still rang true. Han’s expression changed to something Hux could almost register as pride, and he bitterly wondered when Ben would ever get to see the same thing from his father. 

“He loves his job?” Han repeated, cautiously. 

“Completely. He’s a curator at an art gallery, an amazing job for his age, and he’s still able to create his own art as well,” Hux explained, not wanting to give too much away. It was Ben’s story to tell, not his.

Han nodded gruffly, patting a hand on the edge of the sink. It was clear that he didn’t know how to treat Hux. The dynamic between him and Ben was so strange, that it wouldn’t be much easier for him and Ben’s boyfriend. 

“Well,” Han continued to nod, “he’s, uh, lucky to have you around,” 

Before Hux could thank him, Han lumbered out of the front door towards his car to head to work. Hux gripped the edge of the sink, trying to hold himself upright, a quiet part of him wishing that he was lucky enough to have this for real. 

-

“Are you sure you don’t want to just have dinner here,” Leia asked, voice almost pleading as Ben held tightly to her shoulders.

Hux stood around the hall, feeling the guilt rise up in his chest. Poor Leia had just gotten her son back, and here he was whisking him away to their weekly dinner. 

But Hux had offered to stay in. They would still be eating together, technically, so what if there were a few other people around? But Ben completely refused, looking almost offended at the offer. 

“Thursdays are sacred, Ma,” Ben explained, and Hux’s hand fluttered up to trace his lips, smiling at the word.

Leia fussed for a few minutes more, but finally backed off and settled on dessert with the family later. Hux breathed a sigh of contentment, walking out to meet Ben with bright eyes. 

“Oh, aren’t you two the sweetest,” Leia tutted, enthralled by the look of her son with his boyfriend. 

She forced the two together, pulling out her phone to snap a few pictures. Hux tried to subdue his blushing, but failed miserably as soon as Ben’s sturdy arm pulled him closer. 

As the last picture was taken, Hux was whisked away by the hand. Leia shouted after them to please be careful with her car, and Ben only jingled the keys in his hands as a response. 

“You’re driving?” Hux asked cautiously, leaning against the door for a moment. 

“Yes,” Ben answered, “I am,”

Hux narrowed his eyes, but reluctantly circled the car to the other side. He didn’t ease up his expression as he popped in, and locked his seat belt as tightly as it could go for good measure. 

“Someone doesn’t like it when they’re not in control,” Ben commented, voice low and suggestive. 

Hux felt his lower stomach stir, just from the sound of Ben’s voice. He did his best to ignore it, focusing only on how tightly he could grip everything around him to stay in place.

Ben, the tease he was, spent the first five minutes swerving all over the road. Hux’s face paled as he recounted every cherished memory he had, Ben’s face popping up in nearly every one. 

Finally, he began to drive properly. And Ben, somehow, was a good driver. Hux eased up on his grip, letting out a deep breath and patting Ben thankfully on the arm. 

“You could be worse,” he complimented, and Ben beamed at the praise. 

When they finally reached the restaurant, Hux had loosened up. It was due, in one part, to Ben’s careful driving and, in second, to the flask that Ben had smuggled in his jacket pocket. 

Hux, already feeling the effect of the liquor, let Ben help him out of the car and into the building. Their hands, though they needn’t be, were still locked when they sat down at the table. Hux stared at Ben with shiny eyes. 

“You’re looking at me like a weirdo,” Ben commented, without looking up from his menu.

“You look different in candlelight,” Hux preened, chin resting on the heel of his hand. 

Ben’s eyes flickered up, and Hux watched the flame dance in his pupils. It was entrancing, and he pouted when Ben looked away.

“You’re different when you’re drunk on liquor,” Ben spoke in a hushed tone after ordering Hux’s favorite red wine for the table.

“You hate wine,” Hux fired back, and Ben didn’t try to hide his smile. 

“I hate you,” he answered and Hux shook his head.

“No, no. You’re infatuated with me,” Hux laughed. 

Ben was silent for a moment, flicking through the pages of the extensive menu. He reached out to move the candle slightly out of Hux’s reach, so that he would not burn the place down. 

“Infatuation implies that my affection will be short-lived,” Ben answered finally. 

Before Hux could respond, the waiter was back to take their orders. Hux stumbled over his words in a hurry, and Ben snickered to himself as he watched his friend’s attempt. 

They sat in a comfortable silence, Hux sipping his red wine calmly and Ben trying not to gag with every taste he had. It was a show to see who would crack and make a sarcastic comment first, but neither broke. 

Their hands, though not holding onto each other, sat dangerously close to overlapping on the table. It was as if one was just waiting for the other to make a move. Neither broke in that way either. 

“I have something for you,” Ben shattered the silence finally, and Hux perked up curiously. 

Ben reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, removing a small box that looked to contain jewelry. Hux shot him a look, glancing over his shoulder like this was a practical joke. 

In some way, the night felt like a dream already. Hux wouldn’t be surprised if this was the event to wake him up. 

The velvet box was pushed in his direction, and Hux opened it carefully. Inside sat a thin locket, carved with the most delicate design he had ever seen. Hux took the pendant between his fingers, glancing up to Ben for approval.

Ben anxiously awaited, and Hux noticed that he was playing with his fingers, a tell tale sign of his nerves. Hux popped the locket open, a beautiful painted design overflowing from the inside. 

“It’s,” Hux breathed in, “beautiful,” 

“Yeah?” Ben asked hopefully, “It was, um, the first painting I ever did that was inspired by you. I just thought… you know with it being ten years since we met today and all-”

Oh, Hux felt the guilt rising. Ten years Thursday, he had said the words just the day before, and somehow it didn’t resonate with him. Somehow, he didn’t realize exactly what Ten years Thursday meant.  
Somehow, he had blown it off the same way he consistently did everything with Ben. Ben, who tried so desperately to be the friend that Hux didn’t even deserve. Hux swallowed thickly, fingers gliding over the silver metal with a delicacy that he had never used before.  
Hux unhooked the clasp, and easily secured the locket around his neck. Ben looked like he was about to explode with nerves, and Hux let his fingers drape across the spot on his chest where the pendant sat peacefully.  
“I love it,” Hux promised, voice half choked. I love you, Hux wanted to say. 

-

Hux never drank too much. But something about the overflowing glasses of red wine and secret flask left him in a different mind frame than usual.  
By the time they made it back to the house, far later than Ben had promised, Hux was a giggly mess. Ben looped an arm around his waist without a second thought, downing the remaining liquor in the flask, over two thirds, as they crossed the yard.  
“Quiet,” Ben reminded Hux, and Hux lifted a finger to his own lips as a silent promise that he would behave. Ben shot him a look that was too quick to understand.  
They navigated through the house without tripping, by some miracle, and made it to their room fairly quickly. As Ben fumbled with the door knob, Hux noticed Rey poking her head out of her door.  
“Hi,” he whispered loudly, and Ben turned to cover Hux’s mouth with his hand.  
“Absolute child, you’re supposed to be the one taking care of me,” Ben beamed, pinching one of Hux’s cheeks.  
From her spot in the doorway, Rey watched amusedly. During her time at the house, Ben had not been there much. Hux could only wonder what she had seen before. Vaguely, he remembered Ben’s’ hot and heavy relationship with Poe, in his weeks before leaving the town.  
Something in him snapped with jealousy. Poe, who was so vicious against Ben every time he was around, had gotten to touch every inch of Ben as much as he wanted. Rey watched them expectantly, as if she were waiting for them to drop everything and hook up right there in the hall. In his drunken state, Hux wondered if their lack of affection would be their downfall. Not if he could help it.  
When Ben turned back, Hux surged up to slot their lips together for a kiss. Ben was surprised, and staggered back with the force of Hux’s body. He reached out and held Hux by the waist to steady them, pausing only a second more before melting into the kiss. 

Hux felt his heart soar, and he grabbed the back of Ben’s neck to pull him impossibly closer. This was what he had been missing, this was what he had been aching for all this time. Ben. Ben. Ben. 

The name replayed over and over in his head, with Hux grasping at him in an attempt to secure more. Ben’s fingers dug into his hips, like he was anchoring Hux down from drifting away. 

“Hey lovebirds,” Rey whispered from down the hall, “probably wait until you get to the other side of the door to do that,” 

Ben pulled back, flushed and surprised, and nodded quickly as he twisted the doorknob. A giggling Hux was yanked through the doorway, and bounced over to his spot on the bed. 

Millicent was in his lap in an instant, and Hux cooed as he buried his face in her fur. Ben still stood frozen by the door, back pressed against it with a curious look at Hux.

“I saved us,” Hux smiled happily, “I made us look like a real couple in front of Rey,” 

The look that crossed Ben’s face was complete despair, something that Hux had expected the opposite of. He let go of Millicent, who leapt from his lap to go curl up on a pillow. 

“Ben?” Hux started, but Ben only forced a smile.

“Good job,” he managed, sucking in a deep breath and grabbing his pillow and blanket from the bed. 

“Ben-” Hux tried again, sensing that something was wrong. Why couldn’t he understand what was wrong? Hux blamed the alcohol. 

“I’m just gonna go to bed, you should do the same we have a long day tomorrow-” Ben interrupted and Hux let out a stiff breath.

“Ben,” he spoke forcefully, the giggly drunk slowly withering away. “Come to bed,” 

Hux used the same words used by Ben the day before, and the other froze for a moment. He shook his head, gesturing to his makeshift sleeping bag and Hux sighed. 

“Please, lay with me?” he asked, pushing himself down onto the floor beside Ben. 

There was something deeper in his request, something that neither would dare acknowledge out loud. Hux’s chest was tight with anticipation, his thoughts still melding together from the drinks. 

Ben’s chin tilted up slightly, like he was going to move his head, and Hux felt the breath rush out of him. Finally, Ben nodded.

He stood up, and Hux followed in suit. Ben kept his eyes cast down, an expression of something that resembled hurt splayed across his face. Hux noticed the dark flush of his lips, and briefly realized the color was his doing. 

“I don’t want to be the reason for your back problems,” Hux explained weakly, settling in under the sheets as far to one side as he could go.

“How sweet,” Ben’s voice was hoarse as he attempted to joke back, settling into his own pillow, “seeing as you’re already the reason for my headaches,”


	4. Teach Me

Hux woke up to a raging headache, difficulty swallowing, and a nagging feeling that something had gone horribly wrong the night before. His eyes opened cautiously, and upon taking in his surroundings he remembered exactly what happened. 

Ben laid next to him, dark eyelashes resting against his cheekbones, hair furled around his face, and lips parted ever so slightly. Hux found himself wanting to reach out and cradle his face.

But wasn’t that the problem, he realized. Last night he had wanted this. He was relieved when Ben slipped under the sheets next to him, and purposefully wiggled closer to feel the steady rock of his breathing. 

It was unacceptable. Something about the mixture of alcohol and ruse of a fake relationship threw him off so badly, he had almost enjoyed kissing his best friend. 

Hux did not think about the way Ben’s fingers dug into his hips when he held him, or the hunger that kept him clinging to Ben for far longer than necessary. Hux refused to acknowledge the stirring in his stomach at the memory, and squeezed his eyes close tightly to will it away.

In the next blink, Ben’s eyes were open too. Hux didn’t think that anyone could get more beautiful than Ben had been sleeping next to him, but he was wrong. His own lips parted as he sucked in a shaky breath, their eyes held steadily on each other. 

“Do you have the time?” Ben asked, voice riddled with sleep and Hux blinked in surprise.

“Uh,” he rolled over onto his other side, snatching his phone from the desk, “About a quarter past eight,” 

Ben sat up easily, running a hand through his tangled hair as he stretched out. Hux tore his eyes away from the taut muscles of his best friend’s back, and instead took to examining his nails.

“We’d better get up,” Ben yawned, “If I know my mother, she’s already halfway through cooking breakfast,” 

Without another thought, Ben threw back the covers and climbed out of the bed. He didn’t even look at Hux as he walked towards the adjoining bathroom, and Hux tried not to let his heart hurt because of it. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t something he was very good at controlling. 

-

The smug look Rey wore for the entirety of breakfast was a constant reminder to Hux of his feelings. The pit in his stomach refused to subside, even after three helpings of eggs and two waffles. 

Ben, on the other hand, was more cheerful than ever. And, by some cruel twist, more affectionate than ever as well. The hand on Hux’s thigh didn’t move for a minute, and the grip only tightened as the morning went on.

Finally, Hux dropped his own hand to rest lightly on Ben’s. He saw Ben’s eyes flick over to him, but before he could meet his gaze they were once again focused on his mother. 

“How are the two of you even awake?” Rey asked in awe, shooting a look in Hux’s direction that made his cheeks flush.

“I should ask you the same thing,” Ben quirked an eyebrow, “You were awake when we got home last night,” 

“I was about to go to bed,” Rey shot back, and Hux wondered if the entire family possessed that classic spitfire tongue. 

“So were we,” Hux laughed, fiddling with his fork as he tried to steer clear of whatever plot was resting behind Rey’s eyes.

“Maybe you were going to bed,” Rey mused, sipping her drink slowly, “But you two sure didn’t seem like you would be sleeping anytime soon,”

Hux dropped his knife onto the ground, erupting into an apology as he pushed back the seat to pick it up. Ben met him halfway down, their faces so close that their noses brushed against each other.

“Rey Solo,” Leia scolded, throwing her napkin onto the table. 

Rey just laughed, pulling a leg up onto the chair to hold against her chest. Han kept his eyes cast down on his plate, refusing to become a part of the mess that had unfolded at his kitchen table. 

Hux noticed something devious in Ben’s eyes, locked with Rey’s in a twisted game. Hux wanted to beg him to just let the subject drop, and placed a hand pleadingly on his thigh. Ben’s hand ghosted over Hux’s, holding him in place.

“Nothing to worry about mother, I promise Rey’s insinuations are far off,” Ben assured her, and Hux let out a sigh of relief seconds too soon. “Hux is completely celibate,” 

Han sputtered into his drink, spraying half the table with orange juice. Leia let out another shriek, rushing to get napkins to clean up the mess. Rey watched with a smile that could have split her face, clearly not having expected her taunting to go so far. 

“Oh my god,” Hux mumbled into his hand, bent over the kitchen table bashfully. 

Like a curse, that now familiar hand moved from his thigh to rest on his back, rubbing up and down along his spine. Hux could kill him, in fact, he would kill him if he got the chance. 

“I for one,” Leia started as she sat back down at the table and Hux’s head was only filled with shrieking instead of words, “think it’s very noble of you to adhere to that rule, Hux,” 

Hux thanked her weakly, his face nearing the color of his hair at that point. Ben brought a hand up to caress his cheek, and Hux moved into the cool feeling. 

“Is it a religious promise?” Leia continued, and Hux almost let out a sob at the topic. Ben and Rey watched him like it was a sitcom, and he wondered how it took so long for the two of them to learn to get along. 

“Just, uh,” Hux shrugged, “A preference. Choice. I chose to do it. Because I preferred to, uh, not,” 

At this point Ben had turned away to hide his laughter, and Rey sat triumphantly at the other side of the table with her smile to a minimum. Hux clenched his fist to show Ben, and he only patted it sweetly in return.

“Oh, so you’ve always had this plan?” Leia inquired, and before Hux had to answer Han slammed a hand down on the table.

“For god's sake, Leia, stop asking the poor boy about his sex life,” Han bellowed.

“Oh my god,” Hux repeated, burying his face in his hands once more and Ben’s laughter filled his ear as he snickered into his shoulder. 

At this point, Rey popped up from the table to begin clearing the dishes. Hux, and his face that was now as deep of a red as it could go, stood to join her. Ben sat frozen in his seat with his head between his knees, trying to get his laughter under control. 

In the kitchen, Hux gripped onto the sink and lowered his head. Rey patted his back sympathetically, sliding a dish into the basin beside him. 

“Hey,” she said, leaning against the counter.

Hux looked up helplessly at her, hoping that his look of complete horror may cull her from further teasing. Rey frowned apologetically, reaching out to secure a hand on his shoulder.

“I, for one, think it’s very noble of you to-” she restated Leia’s words, and Hux groaned as he threw his head back with dismay.

“Fuck off, Rey,” he whined, and she continued to laugh as she walked back into the dining room to clear the rest of the table. 

-

“It was funny,” Ben insisted, rolling onto his back to stare at Hux upside down.

Hux did not move. He only continued examining his nails, and ripping any stray cuticle skin that seemed to be out of place. 

“You can’t stay here forever,” Ben continued, and Hux looked up at him with eyes as cold as stone.

“Watch me,” he warned in a low voice. 

Ben pouted, rolled over again so that he was on his stomach. Hux ignored the way that Ben jostled his legs when he did so, and refused to acknowledge the butterflies springing up in his stomach with each touch. 

“Here’s a thought,” Hux said, and Ben moved in to listen eagerly, “Why don’t you go choke on a dick,” 

“Only if it’s yours, pumpkin,” Ben retorted, and Hux froze in place. 

“What a shame,” Hux coughed out, “I’m celibate,”

“Hypothetically,” Ben reminded him with vigor, and Hux wished he could kick the smirk off of his mouth. 

Hux didn’t respond, just continued to stare straight past Ben with a hard look on his face. It had been an hour since the mess at the breakfast table, and he was nowhere near ready to show his face around the house again.

“Sweetheart,” Ben pleaded lowly, running a hand up and down Hux’s thigh. 

“Stop using those stupid pet names,” Hux ordered.

“Darling,” Ben tried again, looking up with wide eyes as he crowded Hux’s space.

“You’re wasting your time,” Hux huffed, “I don’t know who this stupid act would work on but if you think I’m budging so much as an inch from my current mood-”

“Baby,” Ben crooned, voice gravelly and barely above a whisper.

Hux’s breath caught in his throat, and his eyes flickered over to meet Ben’s. Ben sat with a look of smug satisfaction, knowing that he was wearing Hux down slowly. 

“I am angry with you,” Hux warned, but his tone didn’t hold its usual bitterness.

“Then be angry with me,” Ben agreed, “But stop ignoring me,” 

Hux let out a resigned sigh, nodding patiently as he brought his hands up to check his nails once more. Ben looked content, and flopped back down onto the bed.

“Let’s do something fun,” he offered, voice laced with excitement. 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, not entirely sure he was up for anything that Ben considered to be fun. But Ben looked at him so sweetly, that he would have relived the entire morning if he could make that face smile. 

“Fine,” he agreed curtly, waving his hand, “But I’m not leaving this room,” 

It was a challenge, of course, for Ben to come up with something to do within the confines of the room. Hux hoped that it would buy him some extra time.

Ben set off snooping around, shuffling through drawers and checking under dressers until he wedged his way into the bathroom. With a delighted yelp, he came barrelling back out, bag in hand. 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, waiting for further elaboration. Ben looked at him like he was stupid, and unzipped the bag to pull out a small bottle of paint. Hux narrowed his eyes, attempting to read the fine print on the front.

“Oh my god,” Ben scoffed and tossed it in Hux’s direction, “It’s nail polish,” 

“Nail polish,” Hux repeated, someone turned off from the idea. 

“We’re going to paint our nails,” Ben said slowly, as if explaining a plan to a child. Hux flipped him off immediately, and Ben surged forward to kiss the finger. 

“Uh,” Hux coughed, holding his finger tightly as he looked at Ben tentatively, “Fine,”

Ben smiled excitedly, pulling a bottle of dark red from the bag for himself and handing it over to Hux to rifle through. 

Hux felt overwhelmed by the color choice, and grabbed the first thing his fingers could get a grip on. It was a deep green, reminding Hux vaguely of the evergreen trees lining the yard outside. 

“Nice choice,” Ben encouraged, uncapping his own polish.

Hux followed suit, feeling incredibly anxious that he may drip the paint all over the rug. He bent over the side of the bed, pulling up a towel that Ben lazily discarded after his shower, and laid it out in front of him.

“Hux,” Ben asked, voice light and amused, “Have you never painted your nails before?”

“No,” Hux’s voice angry from consistent patronization, “It can’t be that hard,” 

Ben didn’t say a word, just silently put the bottle of nail polish remover coupled with some spare cotton swabs between the two. Hux found it offensive, but kept that to himself. 

The first swipe was a complete disaster. Polish covered half of Hux’s index finger, and he let out a little whine as he examined it. Ben’s smile grew, but the look Hux sent him was enough to keep him quiet. 

Hux took a deep breath and unscrewed the top to the nail polish remover. He attempted to remove just the polish on his skin, but his hand slipped and ended up taking off a streak from his nail.

A strangled noise escaped his throat, and Hux repositioned himself into a more serious stance. His knees were tucked up against his chest, making a little table for his hands to rest on while he painted them under close examination. 

After several attempts, more than a few swigs of nail polish remover, and a steady hand, Hux had managed to paint his left index finger almost perfectly. Suddenly, there was something brushing at his toes, and he peered around his knees suspiciously. 

“Hey,” he scolded Ben, “What do you think you’re doing?” 

Ben was laying on his stomach, legs kicked up in the air, a bottle of navy blue polish in one hand and the brush in the other. He looked up at Hux and then back down at his friend’s toes. 

“I’m painting your toenails,” he said, as-a-matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious. 

“Paint your own toes,” Hux cried out, in disbelief that Ben could have finished painting his fingernails so quickly. 

Ben pressed his foot flat in the air so that Hux could have a view of his perfectly painted toes. Before he could say anything else, Ben held up a hand to show his fingernails as well. 

“What are you,” Hux huffed, “Some kind of… nail polish wizard?” 

Ben blinked a few times, brush frozen in the air above Hux’s right pinky toe. With a shrug, he nodded and continued on with his work. 

“One of these days, Ben,” Hux muttered under his breath, busy again with his fingers, “One of these fucking days,” 

-

Hux watched the flames of the bonfire flicker, reminding him of the candlelight that danced in Ben’s eyes. As if on cue, he felt the heavy hand settle on his knee. 

“I was just thinking about you,” Hux admitted, eyes entranced. Ben glanced over, slightly startled, and Hux smiled gently. 

“Good things?” Ben asked timidly, and Hux leaned over to rest his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“Good things,” he confirmed, voice laced with affection.

“Jesus Christ, you two are worse than Poe and Finn,” Rey groaned from where she sat curled up in a lawn chair, cradling a cup filled halfway with whiskey in her hands.

Poe let out a barking laugh from where he sat with Finn on a spread out blanket, one arm around the other’s waist and the other clutching tightly to his hand. Finn looked at him in complete awe, his own smile blossoming as Poe’s did. 

Finn was all soft edges, sweet as the flowers that littered the yard with a heart of gold to match. Ben had nothing poor to say about him, only ravishing reviews. They were so outgoing, in fact, that Hux felt the bitter swell of jealousy rising in his chest. 

“And yet no one is as over the top as you and that cup of liquor,” Poe commented from his spot on the ground, and Rey flipped him off within a second. 

Hux felt his heart warm, from the wine in his cup as well as the arm latched tightly around his waist. It wasn’t necessary for the two of them to be so close, and yet they had remained touching in some way for the entire night. 

Somehow, the night between the youngest members of the family had gone off without a hitch. When Rey suggested a night together, Hux had his reservations. But the worrying was for nothing. 

“Benny, before we do anything tonight, I wanna apologize,” Poe had said, lifting a plastic cup out for Ben to take. Ben did so wordlessly, waiting for the punchline. 

Hux jabbed him in the leg, eyes wide as he looked between Poe and Ben. Finn stood with Rey, piling sticks onto the pit with a worried look in his eyes. Hux wouldn’t have been surprised if he was reciprocating the same expression. 

“Apologize,” Ben nodded, waiting for Poe to go on patiently. 

“Listen, I was a bitter kid towards you. There was no need to be so,” Poe waved his hands around as he tried to find the right words, “Hostile. What we had, that summer fling, it was over ten years ago. What’s the point in holding onto negative feelings?”

From Finn’s spot across the yard, Hux swore he could feel the rush of positive energy when he smiled. It seemed to impact Ben as well, because his lips quirked up into a friendly smile and he nodded.

“I’m sorry for everything too,” Ben had agreed, “Let the past be the past,” 

From there, the night only got better. Rey and Ben acted like the siblings they were, and Hux was amazed at how much each resembled a parent. Ben, his mother, and Rey, her father. It was uncanny. 

A different side to each of them came out that night, more open and loud and patient with each other. It felt like a dream to Hux, he had never expected to meld so quickly with a group he didn’t belong to. 

“Alright, alright,” Poe said, taking a sip of his drink before setting it on the grass next to him. Finn instantly stole his hand back, and Hux was dizzied with the amount of affection between them.

Ben tightened the grip on his waist, pulling Hux’s legs until they were splayed out in his lap. A small hum of contentment left his mouth, and Hux nuzzled into him to steal some of his warmth. 

“What are you blabbing about now,” Finn whined, reaching to steal a sip from Poe’s cup before the older caught him. 

The two fought for a moment, bickering over whether or not Poe really had a rambling problem. Hux shuddered under the cool night breeze, and Ben bent down to press his lips to the shell of his ear.

“Are you cold?” he asked quietly, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down Hux’s arm. Though Hux tried to protest, his chattering teeth gave him away. 

Ben pulled back completely, and Hux pouted as he sat shivering even harder. In one swift motion, Ben removed the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing. Hux’s jaw dropped slightly, not entirely sure what was happening. 

“Here,” Ben handed him the clothing, and Hux held the soft fabric between his fingers for a moment before he could move.

“You didn’t have to,” he tried, but Ben pressed a warm hand to Hux’s ice cold skin.

“Baby, please,” Ben whispered, and Hux shivered at the chills that ran up his spine from the words. 

With no further argument, Hux tugged the sweater over his head. He sighed contently at the warmth, pulling the sleeves over the palms of his hands to hide as much of his skin as possible. 

Ben nudged his shoulder with his nose, reminding him of their previous position, and Hux’s heart skipped a beat. Carefully, they rearranged themselves to how they had been sitting before, with Hux’s legs in Ben’s lap and his head on Ben’s shoulder. 

“Alright, well, anyways,” Poe huffed, checking Finn lightly with his shoulder. Finn just laughed, a sweet song that rang through the night and Hux found himself smiling at the two. 

“Did you finally remember what you were going to say,” Rey asked, a smile playing at her lips.

“Yes, I finally remembered what I was gonna say,” Poe mimicked, waving the two youngest off as they squealed with laughter. “Hux,” he called, “Are you really, uh, what’s that word, ah, celibate?” 

Finn clicked his tongue, jabbing Poe in the ribs. Poe outstretched his hands, confused as to why the question would warrant such a reaction.

“Hux, don’t think you have to answer that,” Finn assured him, shaking his head at Poe. 

Hux cleared his throat, and he felt Ben’s thumb draw shapes against his hip. The constant contact kept him tethered down, and he squeezed his arm to thank him.

“It’s… complicated,” Hux answered truthfully. 

Rey booed from her spot in the corner, and Finn threw an empty cup in her direction. With ease, she snatched it from the air and hurled it right back at him, pegging him in the leg. 

“Hux, you don’t,” Ben started, but Hux shook his head.

“No, it’s, um,” Hux chewed his lip, trying to find the right way to phrase it, “I’m not a virgin,” he decided finally.

Poe’s eyebrows shot up curiously in Ben’s direction, but Hux shook his head.

“I was,” he huffed at the phrasing, “I had a boyfriend. When I was younger, before I left Ireland,”

And just like that, Hux remembered the boy that broke his heart. The boy that he had snuck around for, the boy that he had given everything to. It was against every rule his father kept, against every moral his church taught, and yet it was worth it. 

Hux believed that he could take on his father with this boy by his side, that he could finally escape the totalitarian household he had been trapped in his entire life. But before he could, he found the boy in bed with someone else.

“And so,” Hux swallowed, his rapid explanation of the story drawing to a close, “I just don’t feel comfortable, uh, giving myself away like that,” 

Hux picked up the cup of wine, finishing the remainder and immediately pouring himself another glass. It was silent except for the crackle of the fire, and Ben caught his hand as the bottle shook in it. 

Hux tried not to look at him, but Ben held his gaze. There was a promise behind his eyes, something that Hux had longed for for so long. Again, it was just the two of them. No one else in the world mattered in that second, just Ben and Hux. 

“That guy sounds like a piece of garbage anyways,” Rey called fiercely. 

“He really was,” Hux nodded in affirmation, blinking slowly as he held Ben’s gaze. 

Ben ran a hand through Hux’s hair, trying to tell him something without words. Hux couldn’t decipher it, but he tried to anyways. 

After a moment, they returned to their other position. Ben pulled Hux as close as he could come, and Hux clung on for dear life. Everyone fell quiet, eyes trapped in the dancing flames of the fire.

Hux brought a hand up to his chest where the pendant sat. He could feel the outline beneath Ben’s sweatshirt, and it filled him with a sense of comfort. When he caught Ben staring down at him, he didn’t look away.

Hux reached up to hold onto Ben’s face, tracing over his cheekbones and jawline. Ben let his eyes flutter closed, keened into the touch, and practically purred with contentment. Hux leaned forward, their lips centimeters from brushing once again.

“It’s probably a good idea to head in for the night,” came Poe’s gravelly voice, and Hux flinched back quickly. Ben kept his eyes closed, nuzzling into Ben’s hand sweetly. Hux ran his fingers through the long, dark hair.

Finn, far past half asleep, mumbled in agreement from where he laid curled up on the blanket. Rey knocked back the rest of her whiskey, popping up to grab enough water to put out the fire before they headed in. 

“Poe,” Ben called out, not having moved from his spot, “It’s too late for you to drive. There’s a spare bedroom in the house that’s yours if you want it,” 

Finn loved the sound of that, lumbering up from his spot on the ground and teetering as Poe led him in through the back door. Hux moved to help Rey extinguish the fire, but Ben caught him in his grip.

“She can handle it,” Ben assured him. 

“Okay,” Hux whispered, tracing his fingers through Ben’s hair. 

They had never been the type of friends to indulge in physical contact. A hug here, a punch on the shoulder there, that was as far as it had ever gone. But now, Hux struggled to imagine what life would be like without Ben’s sturdy arms around him. 

“You said you were mine,” Ben reminded him, and Hux grinned.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. 

Rey hurled a bucket of water onto the fire, taking a few deep breaths as she shot a menacing glare in their direction.

“Thanks for the help,” she said sarcastically, but something in her tone was fond. 

Hux grinned at her, now cradling Ben’s head against his chest as he played with his hair. Rey rolled her eyes, and gestured to the house for the two of them to get going. 

Hux helped Ben to stand up, and he practically slumped over onto Hux as soon as he was up. The two walked, leaning on each other, from the backyard into the house. Hux was careful not to make any noise as they moved through the house.

Finally, they made it into the room. Hux felt the buzz of the alcohol in his veins, but there was something more powerful swirling through him. 

Gently, he laid Ben down on the bed. He was quick to take off the other’s shoes, and yank the blankets up over his shoulders. Ben, obviously still awake, grinned at the coddling and happily went along with it. 

“Come to bed,” Ben whispered, holding out his hand to catch Hux’s wrist.

Hux’s heart flipped in his chest, and he nodded quickly as he walked around the mattress to the other side. Gingerly, he pulled back the blankets and slipped underneath them. Hux was careful to leave space between the two of them, but it was gobbled up in an instant when Ben rolled over onto his side. 

A large hand rested on Hux’s waist, and fingers drummed along his back. Hux let out a tiny gasp of contentment, inching closer. Ben grinned, letting himself relax further into the mattress.

“There is a spare room,” Hux noted casually, and Ben yawned.

“Yes,” he affirmed, eyes closed though his hand kept moving. 

“I could have slept there,” Hux tested, “Especially now that they know we aren’t having sex,”

“You could have,” Ben agreed easily. 

“So why am I sleeping here?” Hux asked the question, desperate for the answer that he wanted. 

“Because,” Ben replied, “I needed an excuse to sleep next to you,”

Hux didn’t say anything, just watched Ben’s calm face as they laid in silence. After a moment, Ben’s eyes opened slowly to meet Hux’s. Through the dark, he could barely make anything out.

Hux reached forward to cradle Ben’s face, and felt the smile bloom. 

“Goodnight, pumpkin,” Ben whispered.

“Goodnight, Ben,” Hux returned.


	5. Earnestly Yours

Hux refused to open his eyes when he first woke up. Instead, he let himself focus on the arm curled around his waist, the chest his cheek pressed against, and the steady breathing of the man beside him.

If he opened his eyes, it would be over. The night before, filled with tender touches and soft words, it was unlike anything the two had ever done before. And it was to keep up appearances for the most part, Hux knew that, but there was something about the way Ben looked at him before they fell asleep that made him want to believe there was more.

Ben’s grip tightened slightly, his fingers brushing along Hux’s spine. Even through the thick fabric of Ben’s sweatshirt, in that moment he remembered he was still wearing the clothing Ben gave him, he was responsive to the touch.

Hux held his breath, positive that the shudder he was holding back would wake Ben. Guilt rushed through him, and Hux became hyper aware of the deceit. It was supposed to be a fake relationship, yet he had started to crave it.

And it wasn’t just the physical affection that Hux had deprived himself in years past, no, there was more to it. It was every fond glance, every reassuring word, every smile cast in his direction that made his heart beat to the threat of explosion.

It was Ben. 

Beside him, Ben stirred. Hux couldn’t help himself, desperate for a glance at the sleeping figure before it ended, and his eyes fluttered open.

Ben’s hair fell in loose waves across his face, accentuating the ghost of a sunburn he had procured the previous day along his cheeks. His eyelashes, longer than Hux had ever realized, curled at the tips and reflected the gray light of the room off of them. 

His breathing, though gentle, caused his entire body to rise and fall dramatically. Leave it to Ben to look theatrical, even when asleep. The white thermal shirt he wore clung to his chest, and Hux let out a shaky breath as his eyes trailed over the accentuation of each curve.

He had seen Ben in tight clothing from time to time, and had even seen him without a top whatsoever somewhat frequently, but it had never been like this. They had never been so close, and Hux had never taken the opportunity to really look at him.

But now, he drank it in. Ben looked like he could pop out of the shirt, his muscles flexing against the thin fabric as he dreamed. Hux’s heartbeat raced, and he made a firm mental note to keep his hands still.

Where his hands were, however, did not help. One rested on the curve of Ben’s hip, just below his waist. The other was spread out against his lower abdomen, with the tips of his fingers lingering on his chest. 

Ben squirmed once more, soft parted lips opening into a real yawn, and he used whatever sleepy strength he had to squeeze onto Hux. Ben’s cheek lay flat against the top of Hux’s head, and he let out a steady breath that ruffled his hair. 

Hux, for the fiftieth time this trip, truly believed he was going to die. Whether it was from suffocation or his heart pounding too rapidly, this would be the end for sure. 

His own hands repositioned themselves timidly to get a better grip, and Ben let out a satisfied mewl as he nuzzled against Hux. It turned Hux’s entire body to jelly.

The sun had not risen, and yet Hux felt more awake than ever. He was aware of every spot on his body that Ben touched, that being the vast majority of it, and did his best not to keen into the other’s body.

When Ben’s hand moved again, Hux was done for. Previously resting on his side, Ben wriggled in his sleep once more to reposition his legs. In doing so, his hand slipped down from its former position to rest at the bottom of Hux’s back.

Feeling the small patch of cool skin that was exposed due to the sweatshirt riding up, Ben’s hand chased the feeling. Hux let out a surprised gasp at the newfound warmth, back arching slightly as Ben’s fingers spread across the skin. 

Warmth shot from the base of his spine through the rest of his body, and Hux craved it more than ever before. The remaining inch or two between him and Ben was closed, as Hux chased the heat that radiated off of him.

It was better than sleeping alone. Infinitely better. Millicent purred from her spot at the end of the bed, content in her new position, and Hux, just this once, let himself imagine waking up this way every day.

Hux’s eyes stared longingly at Ben, a part of him pleading that he reciprocated even some of these feelings. Slowly, he felt Ben’s fingers dance across the small of his back, drawing spirals and shapes along the warming skin.

“Is it morning yet?” Ben’s voice was low, barely audible over the beating of Hux’s own heart. 

“Almost,” Hux returned, his own whisper hushed so that they would not break the bubble so meticulously formed around them.

Ben’s cheek still rested against Hux’s hair, and he nuzzled it slightly. Hux let the affection go straight to his chest, overflowing with something he had not felt in a long time. 

Neither made the move to pull away, despite both being awake and coherent. Instead, they breathed each other in as time passed slowly. 

“Are you cold?” Ben asked, well aware that Hux was trembling around him.

“No,” Hux confessed, and Ben did not prod for further explanation. 

Hux wasn’t sure how long it had been since they woke, the gray light of the sunrise still trickling in slowly through the opaque curtains. An eternity had fit within the span of a few moments. An eternity was not long enough. 

“Can I show you something?” Ben asked, hushed. 

“Yes,” Hux spoke without consideration, ready to give anything that Ben requested to him without a second thought. 

“We’re going to have to get up,” Ben informed him gently. 

“Then the answer is no,” Hux mumbled, face buried in Ben’s chest, “And also that you can go fuck yourse-”

“Hux,” Ben tried, and Hux hated himself for breaking so easily. 

With a nod, he detached himself from Ben. It was a slow, painstaking process, and as he sat up the room spun from a mixture of sleepiness and dehydration. As if reading his mind, Ben handed Hux a bottle of water from the bedside table. 

“I’m tired,” Hux complained between sips of his water. 

“We’ll take a nap this afternoon,” Ben assured him, and Hux tried not to choke on the promise of ‘we’. 

Ben lumbered his way into the bathroom, and Hux only stared after him for a few seconds too long. He considered it a feat that he tore his eyes away at all, with the view of sweatpants hanging low on Ben’s hips and skin exposed from the rucked up shirt. 

By the time they slipped out of the room, Hux was ready to curl up and go back to sleep. The sun had not risen completely, coating the yard with an eerie blanket of light. 

Ben insisted on ditching the idea of shoes, and Hux huffed as he felt the morning dew gloss over his ankles. Ben reveled in it, dragging his feet across the grass as they trekked along the lawn.

“We were here last night,” Hux reminded him, voice bitter and Ben shushed him.

“I thought you were a morning person,” he taunted, and Hux haphazardly whacked his shoulder. 

“I thought you weren’t,” Hux shot back, slumping as they walked past the fire pit and into a wooded area.

Hux’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the terrain, starting to feel nervous about the lack of cover on his feet. Ben had no problem walking through the sticks and knee high plants, but Hux carefully maneuvered around them.

Before he could let out another long winded complaint, Ben pushed back the branch of a blossoming tree and revealed the destination. Hux’s eyes widened, too entranced to think of a sarcastic comment to taint the moment.

Ben plopped down at the edge of a short cliff, patting the grassy area next to him. Hux tentatively lowered himself, crossing his legs as he looked out beyond them.

Below, a wide creek bent and swirled as the trickling water sped along. Tall plants shrouded the ground, swaying against the steady beating of the wind. Flowers bloomed as far as Hux’s eyes could reach, every color he could imagine lining a far off meadow.

Hux couldn’t pull his eyes away, trying to drink every ounce of color he could get a look at. The serenity of the scene pulled him from his sleepy state, and he held back on blinking as often for a chance to see more.

“I used to explore a lot,” Ben’s voice only added to the dreamlike nature of the scene, “When I was little, and I would get into fights with my parents, this is where I came,” 

Hux imagined a younger Ben, something that had always been so difficult to do, fleeing to this spot for some sense of peace. It made sense. The area offered more relaxation than anywhere else Hux could imagine. 

Besides Ben’s arms, his mind added as an afterthought. Hux swallowed thickly and willed the thought away. It did not subside. 

“How far have you gone,” Hux asked, eyes stretching to see the expanse of land.

“Just here,” Ben admitted, “I didn’t want to taint the rest,” 

Hux could have laughed at the confession. From his experience, everything that Ben touched was made more brilliant by the interaction. The flowers would flourish under his touch, Hux believed that. He kept the thought to himself. 

“Have you ever,” Hux started.

“No,” Ben finished the thought for him, “You’re the only one I’ve shown,” 

Hux’s chest swelled, and he vaguely connected the feeling to being knocked off of his feet by the wave of an ocean when he was a child. 

He wanted to tell Ben how he felt, to make him understand what the week had done to him. Hux wanted to acknowledge the ache in his chest that had always been there when Ben was around, but was always so easy to subdue before.

Now, his entire body flared with the need to wrap himself up in Ben. It was like he had gotten a taste for the feeling, and formed an addiction. Every second that they weren’t touching but close enough to drove him to the brink of insanity. 

Ben, as if hearing this thought, covered Hux’s hand with his own. 

-

“Mom, come on,” Ben shook his head with a laugh, “Karaoke?”

Leia shook her head as the giggly bunch of slightly younger adults all chimed in. Rey joining in with the taunting, Poe assuring everyone his songs would be a sight to behold, and Finn assuring Leia that it was a party staple.

“I didn’t plan this party,” Leia shook her head, hands going up in surrender. “It was your father’s idea,”

This elicited a somehow rowdier response from the table, and even Hux couldn’t hold back a few teasing comments this time. The thought of Han Solo performing karaoke was too much for them to handle. 

“It’s really no surprise,” Leia scoffed, shaking her head as she cut into her pancakes, “The Solo boys are all very musically inclined,” 

And with those words, a different mood set over the table. Hux looked from each face in confusion, watching the various expressions. Leia remained indifferent from her place at the table.

“Poe,” Ben warned, eyes closing slightly, and Hux watched as a smile of sheer delight spread across the other’s face. 

“Oh man,” he pressed his hands together, rubbing them like a villain with a delicious plan. 

Hux only showed confusion, looking to Ben for some sort of explanation and receiving a look of horror in return. 

“Do you,” Hux narrowed his eyes, the notion too impalpable to be true, “Do you sing, Ben?” 

Ben stuck up his nose, ignoring the words all together. The glare he was shooting at every member of the table warned them to do the same. Poe and Rey looked like they may burst. Finn looked almost sympathetic. 

“Didn’t you ever tell Hux?” Leia asked, waving her fork around, “Benny used to be in a band in high school,” 

“No,” Hux’s own expression turned from disbelief to glee, mirroring that of Poe and Rey. 

“Mother,” Ben warned, but Leia was not intimidated by her son’s threats.

“What was that stage name you had?” Leia asked, setting her silverware down to look hard at Ben. “Kylie Ron?” 

All at once, Rey and Poe dissolved into laughter. Poe his his face in the crook of his arm, trying desperately not to choke on his breakfast. Rey’s laugh filled the entire room, her chair tipping back slightly from the force of her body shaking.

Hux stared at Ben in complete awe, very unaware of this aspect of his past. They had spoken extensively of high school experiences, and yet this band never came up. A band with stage names, nonetheless. 

“And the name of the band was something like,” Leia racked her brain, trying desperately to remember something they had likely not discussed in fifteen years, “Night Ron?” 

Ben’s grip on his fork tightened, and Hux noticed the red spread across his cheeks. Ben Solo-Organa was embarrassed, he realized. It was a rarity, as Ben felt entirely shameless in most instances. 

“The name,” Ben sucked in a deep breath, “was Kylo Ren. We were the Knights of Ren,” 

Leia clapped her hands together as if everything clicked. Even Finn had broken at this point, giggling into his napkin. Rey’s forehead rested on her knee, entire body convulsing with laughter. 

“What kind of music did you guys play?” Hux asked, seemingly innocent, but Ben’s glare showed that he saw right past the ruse. 

“Oh it was that, screamy stuff, now what’s that called, hun?” Leia asked, and Hux’s jaw dropped entirely. 

“Screamo?” Poe offered, playing along, but Leia shook her head. 

“That wasn’t the word they used, no it was something else,” she tapped her temple, and Hux caught Ben eying his butter knife as if it would be less painful to impale himself than sit through the remainder of the conversation.

“Death metal with crying,” Rey piped up, and Ben let his head fall onto the table, wrapping his arms around it to hide himself. 

“No, no,” Leia sighed, “Benny, what was is that you and your little friends used to call it?” 

Ben mumbled something into his arms that no one could make out. Finn attempted to steer the conversation in a different direction, but was cut off by Leia repeating the question before he could get more than two words in. 

“Emocore,” Ben mumbled, into his sleeves. 

“Benny, you know that my hearing isn’t what it used to-” Leia complained.

“Emocore,” Ben sat up abruptly, spitting out the word as if it was poisonous. 

Rey and Poe looked over to Hux with childlike joy in their eyes, and Hux stared back in complete shock. Ben Solo-Organa, his best friend of ten years, the man he had abruptly developed real romantic feelings for, was in an emo band. 

“No,” Hux whispered, and Ben groaned as his head fell into his hands. 

Leia tittered about how wonderful it used to be to go to their concerts, and that she had gone to every single one as their manager. Hux imagined Ben and a few of his friends piling into Leia’s minivan, and found the idea of it almost endearing. 

“I’ll tell you what I didn’t love though,” Leia noted, “Ben, here, stealing all of my eyeliner. I swear it was a stick a week with this boy-”

“No,” Hux repeated, and Poe nodded excitedly. 

Ben hadn’t moved from his curled up position, and Hux would have given anything to see the look on his friend’s face. Mortified, he was guessing, by how much the blush had spread down his neck. 

“You know what,” Leia said suddenly, placing her hands in her lap, “I think the pictures are in one of my scrapbooks,” 

“Mom,” Ben’s head shot up, voice pleading as he tore his fingers through his hair. 

“I personally think it’s only fair that Hux gets to see them,” Rey nodded firmly, “You know, to see the past of the man he’s gotten himself involved with,” 

Vaguely, Hux remembered Poe’s words the night before of letting the past be the past. And while it was nice in theory, there was no way he would pass up a chance to see high school Ben in eyeliner. 

“They’re in the mint green one,” Finn quipped finally, and the look of adoration that washed across Poe’s face was unmistakable. 

“Traitor,” Ben wailed, clutching his arms around his stomach. 

Here he was, Hux thought, here was the dramatic best friend that had been eluding him slightly over the past four days. And yet, he still looked at Ben with the same affection as he had that morning in the meadow. 

Leia popped up to retrieve the scrapbook, Hux noticed that she had about fifty lining her shelves, and came back excitedly. 

Ben let out a low pitched whine, and Hux gripped the table slightly at the noise. It drew him back from the distraction of his feelings, and if Ben was suffering from this Hux considered it to be karma for the turmoil he had been put through. 

Leia spread out the book, flipping through the pages quickly. Hux saw a rush of a life he didn’t know, filled with a far younger family. They looked happy, he noticed, and wondered how long after the rift between them occurred.

Finally, she slowed down her turning. Rey scrambled over behind them to look, followed quickly by Poe and Finn. Ben glared in Finn’s direction, but he just shrugged and sent him a wink. 

Leia froze on one page, and Hux let out a shout of laughter. Dressed head to toe in black stood a teenage Ben, and Hux was overjoyed. 

Somehow, this Ben had even shaggier hair. In some pictures it was pulled up messily into a ponytail or bun, which reminded Hux of how Ben looked when he cooked for them. The memory made him smile absentmindedly. 

Wrapped around Ben’s shoulders was something that resembled a robe, but also looked like it could be a cape. Hux narrowed his eyes, trying to get a better look at the dark and slightly blurry picture.

“Is that a blanket?” he asked, and Ben nearly shoved him out of his chair.

“Of course not,” he bellowed, anger tinging his words. 

Hux was about to apologize for the question, when Leia gasped and pointed at the robe he had been referring to. Ben’s face paled slightly, knowing his mother was about to embarrass him once again.

“It was actually a Halloween costume-” she started.

“Mother please-” Ben interrupted but she waved him off.

“-That we found while looking for theatrical makeup! Ben used to even wear it around the house sometimes he found it so comforta-” Leia laughed, her last word cut off by an even deeper groan on Ben’s part. 

Hux ran his fingers over the picture, sure that if he reached out to touch them he would realize they were a figure of his imagination. Ben, despite his angsty get up, still had a look of youth and hopefulness in his eyes. 

Hux recognized it as the same look he had received when they were together that morning. It warmed his heart. Leia and Ben continued to argue, Ben convinced that his mother had ruined his entire life and Leia using words such as “charming” to convince him otherwise. 

“I think they’re cute,” Hux admitted, softly, and a hush fell over the room. It was the last thing anyone had expected him to say, that was for sure.

Rey and Poe looked almost disappointed, like they had expected Hux to rip Ben apart. There was certainly enough material to, from Kylie Ron to the clothes that looked like they belonged in a garbage can instead of on a person. 

“What?” Ben asked, suspicion clouding his expression, “You do?” 

“Yeah,” Hux shrugged easily, flipping the page to view a few others with the rest of the band, “Plus, you don’t look half bad in eyeliner,”

Rey made a gagging noise, clearly disgusted by the turn of events. She turned on her heel to walk away from the group, begrudgingly calling over her shoulder that she was off to take a shower. 

Poe pouted slightly, looking to Hux for any other joke he had to make. There would be plenty in the future, Hux was sure of that, but he stood firm on his stance in the moment. Poe just sighed, thanked Leia for her hospitality, and promised to be back later for the party.

Hux didn’t look at Finn for a moment, but when he did he was surprised. Finn looked pleased, eyes flickering from Ben to Hux with an almost smug expression. Hux was positive he had looked at Finn the same way before, when the love between him and Poe was overwhelmingly obvious. 

Before Hux could ask what his deal was, Poe was dragging Finn out towards the car by his hand. Finn waved, tauntingly almost, and linked his arm with his fiancee. Hux didn’t understand the meaning behind any of it, but he held onto the silent interaction in an attempt to decode it. 

“We should go get ready,” Ben interrupted Hux’s thoughts, pulling him back to the dining table where they sat. 

“The party starts at five,” Leia reminded him for the millionth time, gesturing to the yard where a team had already begun assembling a tent and tables. 

“I know, Ma,” Ben groaned, head tipping back.

“Hux, you make sure he looks presentable,” Leia commanded, and Hux had the vague desire to stand at attention when she gave orders. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Hux nodded curtly, and from the corner of his eye he saw Ben lick his lips. 

Leia smiled happily as she checked her watch, rambling about a hair appointment while she gathered her things and made her way towards the door. With one final shout, the door swung closed behind her and left Ben and Hux alone in the dining room. 

“At ease,” Ben teased, voice dangerously close to Hux’s ear.

Hux only felt more tense after that interaction, but didn’t say anything while Ben stood up to head back to their room. He took a shaky breath, willing himself to relax before he chased after his best friend.

“Hux,” Ben called over his shoulder, “Still up for that nap?”

Hux banged his knee on the table in his scramble to get up, but Ben didn’t mention it. 

-

Ben fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, unsure of how many to leave undone. It was between three and four at this point, Hux noted. For a second Ben’s hands stilled, dropping to his side to admire his reflection. In the next second, they were on the buttons again.

“You’re going to loosen the thread,” Hux warned from his spot across the room where he was pulling up his socks, “Might even pop one,” 

The idea of ruining the shirt obviously hadn’t crossed Ben’s mind, as he stood staring at his hands in complete horror. It was the thousandth thing he had obsessed over that afternoon, as he was obsessed with looking his best.

Hux crossed the room to where Ben stood, reaching up to take the other’s hands into his own. They trembled slightly, and Hux wanted to take every anxiety away from him so that he was his usual ridiculous self.

In all honesty, Hux would rather have the whiney, overly dramatic, angsty teen version of Ben in place of this one. This Ben was foreign to him, someone he had only seen a handful of times in the entire decade of their friendship. 

“Make it four buttons,” Hux advised him quietly, undoing the fourth button on his shirt. “It shows off more of your chest,” 

“Not everyone wants to see my chest, like you do,” Ben taunted nervously, grip on Hux’s hands tightening slightly. 

“Yes, they do,” Hux corrected. “It’s a nice chest,” he added as an afterthought. 

Ben offered a weak smile at this, but didn’t budge. He still looked as wrecked as before, and Hux racked his brain to think of something, anything, that may subdue his worries.  
They still had three quarters of an hour until they were due at the party, and he worried that Ben would only work himself into a frenzy if left with his own thoughts.

“Hey,” he bounced on the balls of his feet slightly, “Wanna paint my nails?” 

Ben looked up, clearly confused. Hux tugged back to scurry to the bathroom, pulling down the bag filled with various colors. When he returned, Ben still looked concerned. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want them painted for the party,” Ben’s eyes drifted to Hux’s perfectly scrubbed fingernails, a feat that had taken him nearly an hour after the amount of polish that spilled on his skin.

Hux scoffed, rifling through the bag to look at the various colors. He pulled a few of the paler ones out, putting them on display for Ben to see. He didn’t seem to be impressed with any of the options.

“That was when I painted them,” Hux reminded Ben, “I wasn’t very good at it. But you’re some weird, nail polish wizard. So I trust that you’d make them look acceptable,” 

Ben didn’t say anything, and Hux hoped and prayed that he had offered a solution to even the smallest sliver of his nerves. All he wanted to do was help, but he still wasn’t sure how to do something as simple as that. 

“These colors aren’t preferable for your skin tone,” Ben mumbled, and Hux scoffed, taking full offense. 

Ben’s smile came naturally, and Hux’s heart warmed. Ben took the bag from Hux, and Hux noticed for the first time how gentle every touch Ben made was. It was uncharacteristic, coming from a near giant with a rage problem. 

“Let’s sit,” Hux soothed, lifting a hand to Ben’s shoulder as he led him to the bed. 

Ben plopped down, shaking the entire bed more than he had expected. Hux floated down next to him, crossing his legs and turning to get a better angle. This way, he could see every micro-expression that flashed across Ben’s face, the way he liked it. 

Ben finally decided on a color, shaking the bottle before he pulled the brush out. It was far darker than any color Hux had suggested, and he took a deep breath. This was for Ben, he could let go of his control for one night if it was for Ben.

“Navy,” Hux commented as the dark color slid over his index finger, “That’s the same polish you used for my toes,” 

Ben nodded, offering a smile before his face went back to complete concentration. Hux noticed that his tongue stuck out slightly between his lips as he worked. He couldn’t draw his eyes away from the look of pure bliss on Ben’s face while he painted. 

Somehow, he was able to finish Hux’s nails within a few minutes with only one very slight mishap. Of course, he was an artist and had experience, but it didn’t take away how impressive Hux found it. 

“Good?” Ben asked as Hux examined his nails, and he realized the other’s voice was shaking.

“Perfect,” Hux corrected, looking into Ben’s eyes, “If I hadn’t bought you dinner biweekly for the past decade, I would consider paying you,” 

That elicited a real laugh from Ben, the kind that had his shoulders rolling and hair bouncing. Hux felt a small bout of pride, and before long he was joining in on the fit of laughter. 

“Thank you,” Ben said suddenly, voice warm and sweet, and it dizzied Hux just to hear. 

“I should be thanking you, since, you know, you were the one that painted these-” Hux babbled, unable to stop his head from spinning. 

“Hux,” Ben reached out to hold onto his forearms, “Thank you. For everything,” 

And in that moment, Hux would have relived the entire week a million times if it meant a look from Ben half as sweet as the one he was giving him then. 

-

“You’re fine,” Hux soothed, arm linked in Ben’s as they walked through the yard. 

So far, the amount of people had been sparse. Relatives and family friends were only just starting to arrive in big numbers, and the amount of guests tripled before their eyes. Ben turned to the table behind them and picked up a bottle of tequila.

“That’s the liquor you’re going for?” Hux asked incredulously.

Ben knocked back the shot that threatened to overflow, and discarded the tiny plastic cup into a nearby garbage pail. Hux rolled his eyes, and retook hold of Ben’s hand. 

If the rest of the night played out in the same way as the first fifteen minutes, they’d have nothing to worry about. Relatives were more excited to see that Ben was present than they were to comment on his same sex relationship.

Hux considered the roles reversing. If Ben ever did come home with him, would things go as smoothly? Definitely not, of course, as his family was overrun by people that justified their hate with religion.

In a flash, he realized that Ben would have no reason to be introduced as his boyfriend in the first place. Outside of this week, he wasn’t. They were friends, friends since college who held a strictly platonic relationship. And yet, Hux wanted to keep Ben’s hand in his own longer than another day. 

But this would be the end, he was reminded in a heartbreaking twist. Their flight left at noon the following day, and then it was back to normal. Hux sucked in a twisted breath, and Ben squeezed his hand tightly.

Hux glanced up, receiving a concerned look from Ben. The other had noticed the drastic fall of his mood, and looked at him with such worry it broke Hux’s heart. If this was the end, he was going out with a bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my break from school is almost over so I'm trying to get as much of this fic done as possible before I have a much more limited amount of time to write.


	6. Nearly Curtains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a list of the songs featured within the chapter:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQ  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaG8faaFUMM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI7YHZVc7mM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU
> 
> *warning: this chapter is explicit.

“This is Hux,” Ben slipped a hand around his waist, tugging him closer as he gestured to yet another relative before then, “My boyfriend,” 

Hux didn’t acknowledge the quickening pace of his heart at the words. Instead, he lapped them up. If this was the last time he heard those words from Ben’s mouth, he was going to remember every syllable.

For the most part, introductions had gone well. There were only a few awkward encounters, older relatives uncomfortably attempting to weasel their way out of the conversation, vaguely homophobic comments that didn’t seem to phase Ben at all.

“Boyfriend,” the petite, elderly woman repeated, “Is this why you haven’t been home in so long, Benny?” 

She seemed genuinely concerned, and Hux found it almost sweet. However, it didn’t pull him back from the defensive edge he perched on whenever discussing his own sexuality. Things could take a turn at any moment. 

Ben just laughed it off, releasing Hux for a moment to pull the woman in for a hug. Hux should try to remember her name, he knew that, but there had been so many people in such a short amount of time. 

In any other instance, he would pride himself on keeping names straight. But this party, with its loud music and absolutely overwhelming amount of people, pulled him from his comfort zone completely. 

The only reason he hadn’t collapsed in a fit of panic was because of Ben. Sweet, affectionate Ben who kept at least one hand on Hux the entire time. Maybe it was to keep up appearances, but after three drinks Hux started to believe Ben wanted to be touching him.

“Kylie,” Poe’s voice came suddenly, and Hux turned to see him holding a red plastic cup over his head. Finn, unsurprisingly, was nestled under his free arm.

Ben made a tight smile in the direction of his distant aunt, excusing himself and Hux as he dragged the other across the yard. Finn, usually the more sympathetic one, was giggling into his cup already. 

“Well, if it isn’t our little Kylie,” Poe clucked his tongue, “How the hell are ya?” 

“Poe, I swear to god-” Ben started, but Hux cut him off. 

“He prefers the full title,” Hux intervened, “Kylie Ron, Master of the Night Rons,” 

Ben looked at Hux with the mixture of betrayal and astonishment, dropping his arm immediately from holding him. Poe made up for the missing physical touch by clapping him on the shoulder. 

“How the hell did this asshole peg down a gem like you,” he hooted, and Hux laughed to hide the ache in his heart. 

Ben looked at him strangely, like the comment had dredged up something he didn’t want to think about. In an instant, Hux reached out to gingerly touch his arm.

“I’ll tell you what,” Poe sighed, “If Rey didn’t blab about seeing the two of you play tonsil hockey the other night, I would’ve thought you two were just overly feely friends,”

Hux felt his heart drop, and Ben shot him a look of distress. The two had assumed their fake relationship was convincing so far. What else was there to it? Throw an arm around someone else, hold their hand during dinner - was anyone else suspicious?

“Poe,” Finn grumbled, scolding his boyfriend and shooting Hux an apologetic glance. 

“I’m just saying,” Poe held up his hand, the cup in it dangerously close to slipping from his fingers, “I remember Ben being a lot different back with his flings in high school,”

Flings. There had been more than one. The only one that Ben really discussed was Poe, and that was because Poe had entwined himself with the entire family after the breakup. Hux kept his eyes cast down.

It didn’t take long for Poe to realize the mistake in what he said. As if connecting his comment with Hux’s story of his old boyfriend from the night before, his eyes flashed in a sudden understanding.

“Fuck, Hux,” he started, dropping his arm from Finn to take a step forward, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” 

Hux shook his head, waving off the apology easily. What he should worry about now was their lack of convincing. Not his own personal feelings. Not the fact that he thought things were starting to get real between he and Ben, but it really was just a ruse. 

And a poor one at that. Ben hadn’t even kissed him the entire time. It was Hux who had made the move, Hux who had mistaken Ben’s disgust for disappointment when he admitted the kiss was to fool Rey.

“It just didn’t seem like the place for further physical affection,” Hux lied between his teeth, “This being the first time I’ve met his family, and all,” 

Poe nodded, seemingly relieved by the explanation. He apologized again, but Hux shook his head indignantly. Finn reached out to squeeze his shoulder, and Hux just smiled politely before excusing himself to get another drink. 

Ben didn’t want him. Ben didn’t want him. Ben didn’t want him. He chanted it over and over in his head, lips moving to form the words silently as he poured a new cup full of a margarita. 

“Let me guess,” Hux jumped at the sudden voice, “Poe put his foot in his mouth, again?” 

Rey stood in front of him, her hair that had been held up the entire trip so far now cascading down her shoulders. Her usually snippy attitude had softened, and Hux wondered if he was doomed to face the family’s pity for the rest of the trip. 

“I’m just thirsty,” he fired back, and Rey snickered.

Hux wavered in his hold of her gaze, a small smile spreading across his face when he recognized her usual self shining through. With a shrug, he lifted the margarita to his lips and took a big gulp as if to prove his point.

“He must have said something wrong,” Rey commented, peering over Hux’s shoulder, “Ben keeps looking over here with the stupidest look on his face I’ve ever seen,”

“Ben always looks stupid,” Hux grumbled, eliciting a rumbling laugh from Rey. 

She waved in Ben’s direction, tauntingly, and Hux scoffed as he reached out to whack her hand down. Rey only grinned at him, focus drawn away from Ben entirely. 

“So,” Rey asked, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, “How’d you do it?” 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, stirring his margarita with a tiny paper umbrella. Rey only rolled her eyes, leaning against the table as if the conversation was moving too slowly for her. 

“How’d you get him to come home in the first place?” she asked, “And better yet, be nice to us all? Even my dad, I heard the two of them having as close to a normal conversation as possible this morning while washing dishes,” 

Hux’s heart swelled with happiness for his friend. Of course, Ben told him about the conversation with Han, where they discussed the weather and how Han’s mechanic shop was holding up, and Ben’s new studio a few blocks from his apartment. But hearing from Rey that it had gone as well as described only made him happier.

“I didn’t do anything,” Hux admitted with a shrug.

“Oh please,” Rey set a hand on her hip, “We both know that’s not true,” 

“I just,” Hux shrugged, “I offered to come,” 

Rey’s demeanor changed, surprised at the turn of events. Hux looked uncomfortably down from her gaze, uncomfortable in the way she was looking at him.

“You offered,” she repeated, “You’re telling me that Ben didn’t beg and plead and drag you here by force?” 

“He, uh, didn’t want to come at all,” Hux explained slowly, “So I told him that I would stick it out with him, you know, be there for any fights he got into with his dad-”

“You saw the aftermath last time,” Rey deduced, to which Hux nodded, “And yet you still came to this event that promised to be an even bigger blowout,” 

Hux just shrugged, not having seen it as that big of a deal beforehand. He was just doing this for Ben, to make him happy, to make up for the ten years prior that he had been just about the worst friend imaginable. 

“You’re the reason it went so smoothly,” Rey informed him, voice deadly serious, “You saw him in the beginning. He wouldn’t get out of the car when he saw Poe in the yard, he looked like he was about to vomit whenever Dad was around, hell, he wouldn’t even look at me,” 

Hux shook his head furiously. None of this was his doing, it was Ben. Ben had grown up in the last five years, he told himself. He had just psyched himself up for a blowout that wasn’t really bound to happen.

“I’d never even heard his real laugh until you showed up,” Rey whispered, the conversation to be kept intimately between them. 

“I just wanted to make him happy,” Hux admitted, equally as soft, “That’s what good friends do,” 

“Good friends,” Rey repeated, rolling her eyes at the term. Hux felt something like a stab to his stomach. Maybe he was more invested than he thought. 

Heavy footsteps fell behind him, and Rey’s eyes flicked over Hux’s shoulder. A strong arm wrapped around his waist, and Hux silently sipped his margarita as he curved into the touch. 

“Well,” she said, pouring a copious amount of whiskey into her cup, “It was nice talking to you, Hux, but I’ve gotta fill myself up with a lot more liquor before I have to watch the two of you hang off of each other again,” 

With a curt wave, Rey was off, lifting her cup to her lips and bouncing off to find Leia. Hux watched after her in astonishment, feeling like the entire conversation was some scenario he made up in his head.

“What was that about?” Ben asked pleasantly, trying to decipher the look on Hux’s face.

“She tried to convince me that I am the reason this week went so well between you and your family,” Hux rolled his eyes.

Ben didn’t say anything at first, just watched after Rey while she twirled around the dance floor. With his fingers gently squeezing the curve of Hux’s waist, Ben took a hearty sip of his beer. 

“You are,” he spoke finally, and Hux’s heart dropped.

Before he could continue the conversation, ask Ben what exactly he meant, try to find some clarity within those two words, Hux was whipped around to face another relative. 

“This is Hux,” Ben introduced him, hand running slowly up and down his side, “My boyfriend,” 

-

“If you think I am drunk enough for karaoke,” Hux sat in the folding chair around a circular table, “You are sadly mistaken,” 

Poe booed, Rey threw an empty cup at him, and Finn leaned over to shake Hux’s shoulders, urging him to get up on stage. Hux stood firmly in his stance, shaking his head as he watched one drunk adult after another fumble their way through a song, with the occasional child thrown into the mix. 

“There’s no way I could top that four year old’s cover of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” Hux shrugged, “So, what’s the point,” 

Once again, the group hurled a mixture of insults and encouraging words his way. Hux broke his stern resolve, bursting into laughter as they took turns shaking his shoulders. 

“Why don’t you all get up there, then?” he shot back and between mixed mumbles of excuses Ben stood up.

“Poe and I will do it,” Ben offered, and Poe looked at him suspiciously.

“Will we?” he stood up slowly, unsure of the angle Ben was getting at.

Despite the two of them steadily rebuilding their rocky friendship, there was obviously still hesitation. Ben smiled warmly, reminding Poe of the times he used to come to the band practices he held in his garage.

“Unless,” Ben taunted, moving to sit back in his seat, “Your voice has withered with your old age,” 

Poe reached across the table to grab Ben’s shirt, looking him sternly in the eyes. Ben only smiled in return, standing again to his full height and waving Poe along. 

“Follow me,” he instructed, crossing the tent to approach Leia.

Poe followed, somewhat reluctantly, pressing a kiss to Finn’s temple before he left. The three remaining exchanged confused looks, watching as Ben whispered in his mother’s ear. 

The look that crossed Leia’s face was almost horror, but she finally answered him after what looked to be some pleading on Ben’s part. He kissed his mother’s cheek, and beckoned Poe to follow him into the house.

“What is your boyfriend planning?” Finn asked curiously, following their steps with wide eyes.

“I ask myself the same question every day,” Hux admitted, voice equally as confused. 

For a few minutes, nothing happened. Other people took their turns with the karaoke, but a strange silence fell over the table. Each wondered just what Ben and Poe were up to. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Poe appeared on the makeshift stage. The lights had been dimmed, only revealing his outline. Ben was nowhere to be found, despite each of the three craning their necks to see some glimpse of him. 

A soft piano played, and Hux recognized the tune as somewhat familiar. He couldn’t quite place it, though, and looked to Rey and Finn for some clarification. They shared his confusion, and strained to get a better look at Poe.

“How can you see into my eyes like open doors?” Poe’s voice came softly, and Hux still struggled to place the lyrics.

As the verse built, so did Poe’s voice. Ben was still out of sights, and Hux was beginning 

To wonder just how he had roped Poe into a solo performance. In the seconds before the chorus hit, the early 2000s song finally clicked with Hux as Ben jumped into view.

“Wake me up,” he yelled into the mic, the lights finally flashing up to show the two of them. Hux almost passed out on the spot. 

Dressed head to toe in black, Poe was practically drowning in Ben’s large clothes. Beside him, Ben wore a similar outfit with one key exception. There was a shaggy, dark grey blanket wrapped around his shoulders that vaguely resembled his Kylo Ren attire. 

Most surprising, however, was the thick eyeliner that had been applied to both men. Even from their spot farther back in the crowd, it was unmistakable. Hux’s breath caught in his throat, somewhere between laughter and a gasp when he realized. 

For the majority of the song, Ben’s role was in the background. It was Poe who sang the sweet harmony, voice lilting along the notes of the piano. After a particularly soft solo performance, Hux was almost disappointed that the song had ended. 

Again, he was wrong and not at all prepared. 

“All this time I can’t believe I couldn’t see,” Ben started, a mixture of screaming and rapping, and oh, Hux had forgotten this snippet of the song. 

Poe and Ben circled each other as they sang their duet, faces grim and serious. At the last drawn out note, Poe fell to his knees, tipping his head back and outstretching his arms to hold the word as long as possible. 

The entire tent was speechless. Hux sat with his jaw dropped, watching as Poe held his position for a few seconds after the song ended. Ben stood, face grim and eyes searching the crowd almost menacingly. Rey’s voice cut the silence.

“Kylie Ron returns!” She shouted, standing up to throw a fist in the air. 

A second of silence was followed by Finn and Hux’s vehement cheers, and chanting of the old name. Those around sat confusedly, scattered claps drifting through the audience as Ben and Poe took their bows. 

The rowdy table towards the back continuously chanted the name Kylie Ron, with Poe joining in from his spot up front. By the time they made it back, the next person had started on stage, though their performance was somewhat timid due to the show beforehand.

Poe slouched in his seat, immediately wrapping an arm around Finn and reaching for his drink. The eyeliner was smudged halfway down his cheeks, and Hux figured that he had most likely done it on his own. 

Ben followed closely behind, undoing the draped blanket with one hand and tenderly placing it around Hux’s shoulders. Hux looked confused, opening his mouth to scold Ben for giving him his mess when Ben cut him off. 

“I know how easily you get cold,” Ben explained quickly.

Hux broke into a grin, running his hands over the worn fabric as he wrapped it tighter around his shoulders. Ben’s hand tentatively took Hux’s in his own under the table, and he squeezed back tightly.

“-the best karaoke I’ve ever seen, I swear, Ben we thought that you just weren’t gonna show,” Finn rambled excitedly, bouncing up and down in his seat.

“I would never turn down a chance to embarrass myself in front of the entirety of my family,” Ben shrugged, sipping his drink casually. 

“Likewise,” Poe grinned, raising his cup to clink with Ben’s. 

Hux had tried not to focus too heavily on the eyeliner drawn along Ben’s waterline, but he was slipping. It seemed to be as perfectly applicated as his nail polish, and Hux cursed Ben’s steady hand. 

Swallowing became difficult when he noticed just how dark Ben looked overall. It was a new look, and he found it tough not to trace every outline of Ben’s body in his skin tight t-shirt. 

“So,” Hux coughed, dragging his eyes from Ben’s chest, “Who’s up next?”

After watching the wreck of a performance put on by Ben and Poe, the rest of the table was eager to get involved with karaoke. Much of the audience had dispersed, moving on to get food or join the dancing across the yard.

It left ample opportunity for the five to get their turns on stage. They fully utilized this over the course of an hour. 

First, it was Rey rushing to the stage. She typed in the numbers on the karaoke machine, smiling fiendishly as she stood in front of the microphone. 

When the first notes of Mr. Brightside by The Killers filled the tent, the table erupted into applause. Rey moved along the stage gracefully, singing the lyrics only slightly off key and seemingly serenading her cup of whiskey. 

Next, it was Finn, who had never actually done karaoke he asked everyone to keep in mind. His rendition of Wannabe by The Spice Girls made Hux severely question that, especially with his effortless dance moves.

Poe sat beside them, chin in his hands, entranced. It was a look of absolute and unconditional love, something that everyone else at the table was somehow able to ignore. It only made Hux’s pining worsen. 

“You’re up, Huxy,” Finn giggled, and before Hux could say anything Ben was wrapping a protective arm around him.

“Only I can call him that,” he warned, and Finn rolled his eyes as he let out a half sincere apology and gestured to the stage. 

Hux was released from Ben’s grip, and given an encouraging smile as he made his way to the front. Unfortunately, his musical knowledge was not very extensive. It mostly consisted of classical music that he could work to. 

“Hello,” he stood in front of the microphone, waving awkwardly, “This is a song I used to sing sometimes,” 

“Incredible intro, buddy,” Poe shouted from the back, and if there weren’t children in the audience Hux would have flipped him off. 

With one last sip of his drink, he set the empty cup down on stage. As a child, he didn’t have many forms of rebellion within the house. The most he could do was listen to hard rock behind his father’s back, resulting in a deep found love of classic rock.

When Pour Some Sugar on Me came through the speakers, Poe let out a wolf whistle. Hux kept his eyes closed for the first verse, focusing mainly on keeping the beat with the steady swing of his hips.

As the last shot of alcohol warmed his body, he began to get more adventurous. His voice grew louder and his dancing wilder. Ben stared at him from the crowd with dark eyes, and Hux blew him a kiss.

As he stumbled off of the stage, Ben stood up to greet him. Hux grinned, and for a second it looked like Ben may surge in to kiss him. Instead, Poe broke the tension with yet another wolf whistle, and Hux looked down with red cheeks. 

“Can we please,” Rey held up her clasped hands, “Have one final performance from Kylie Ron?”

Finn joined in with the pleading, and soon Poe was begging as well. Ben opened his mouth to turn down the offer, but then Hux was huddled up to his chest.

“Just one more?” he batted his eyelashes in an innocent way, but Ben saw right through him.

“You’re going to hold this over my head forever,” he deadpanned.

“Yep,” Hux pushed forward to press a kiss to Ben’s cheek. Ben’s eyes widened in slight surprise, but he managed to seem as unaffected as possible.

“Fine,” he grumbled, snatching the blanket from Hux’s shoulders to tie around his own, “Consider this the Kylie Ron farewell show,” 

His warning elicited groans from the group, but Ben just stalked off to go through the karaoke list. They bubbled with the possibilities, the promise of getting to hear Ben yell into the microphone again. None of them had expected the song choice.

“My baby, he don’t talk sweet, he ain’t got much to say,” Ben sang out, the bubbly track in the background surprising them all, “But he loves me, loves me, loves me, I know that he loves me anyway,” 

“Is he,” Poe narrowed his eyes, “Is he really singing Let’s Hear it for the Boy? From Footloose?” 

“Oh my god,” Hux gawked as Ben moved around the stage. 

The giant man, dressed head to toe in skin tight black clothing with a raggedy cape hanging from his back and eyeliner so thick it was visible a hundred yards away, now danced around the stage to the bubbly 80’s pop.

“Let’s hear it for the boy,” Ben sang, twirling around to gesture to Hux. 

Hux sat in his chair, somewhere between mortified and hysterical, as the rest of the table clapped along to the song and cheered out his name. His blush rivaled the conversations about his celibacy, and Hux covered his face.

When he opened his eyes, Ben was still singing right at him, gestures and all. Hux mouthed for him to fuck off, and Ben winked at him in return. 

Leave it to Hux to get himself worked up over this ridiculous show. But his heart swelled with adoration, and he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Ben’s. The laughter melted into a soft smile, and Ben tripped over his words as he became absorbed by the look. 

“Get off the stage,” Poe hollered, and Ben dreamily set the microphone down, staggering off to rush to Hux’s side.

“Sickening,” Rey mumbled into her drink. 

“I think they’re cute,” Finn cooed, flicking Rey when she piped up to disagree. 

Hux stared into Ben’s eyes, soft and welcoming, and tried to imagine a world where every passing second filled him with this much joy. That world was possible, he knew, if they could stay like this forever. 

“I think we’re cute too,” Ben admitted, and if Hux noticed that his voice was too low for anyone else to hear, he didn’t mention it. 

-

It took a lot to get Hux onto a dance floor. There had only been a handful of times where he had given it a go, and even fewer where he stayed for more than one song. Leia’s birthday party was an anomaly. 

Hux dragged Ben out, not the other way around. And Hux, the normally stuck up workaholic he was, somehow knew how to shake his hips. More than a dozen times he caught Ben’s eyes glued to his waist, entranced in a way. 

As he was about to make the usual sarcastic comment, the upbeat song ended. Instead, lilting piano notes drifted out of the speakers. All around them, couples paired up at the promise of a slow song. 

It was almost a joke, really, that Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling in Love started playing. Hux wanted to laugh, because if the week had a theme song it would have been this. Before he could gawk at the irony, Ben settled his hands on Hux’s waist.

“I’ve never,” Hux scrunched up his face, unsure of where to put his hands.

“Take my hand,” Ben instructed quietly. 

“Take my whole life too,” Hux quoted before he could stop himself, and Ben offered a gentle smile as he entwined their fingers. 

“You know the song,” Ben observed as they began to sway back and forth.

“Of course I know the song,” Hux scoffed, “I haven’t spent my whole life living under a rock-”

“I requested it,” Ben confessed, and something rose in Hux’s throat. 

“Well,” Hux said stoically, “I guess your music taste isn’t as bad as what you’ve shown me in the past,” 

Ben cut him off with a kiss, swooping down to connect their lips as gently as he could. Hux stopped swaying, feeling the shock rush over his body. Slowly, he lifted his hands to cup Ben’s face. 

The song continued on around them, and Hux felt the beat of the speakers slowly losing speed against his own heart. Ben held onto him tightly, fingers digging into his waist, and Hux noted how desperate he was to draw him closer.

“To keep up appearances,” Ben said softly as he pulled back, but for the first time Hux wasn’t sure if he believed it. 

“Right,” he agreed, “For appearances,” 

Hux could barely get the word out before he was dragging Ben back, slotting their lips together as quickly as he could. Ben staggered forwards, obviously surprised by the repeat of the action, but did not protest. 

Instead, he anchored Hux to where they stood, moving his lips slowly and carefully like Hux may break if he was any rougher. When Hux knotted his fingers in Ben’s hair, he heard him let out a gasp. 

“Of course,” Hux distantly heard Rey’s voice beside them, “I, for some reason, keep getting stuck seeing this,” 

Hux pulled his head back shyly, and Ben chased after him to supply his lips with one final peck. It was completely unexpected, and Hux felt his knees shake. Ben was there with an arm around his waist to keep him upright. 

“Sorry,” Hux rasped out, and Rey stuck her tongue out.

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to every elderly person here that you sent into cardiac arrest,” Rey commented, turning on her heel to scavenge what was left of the dessert table.

The next song faded in, something upbeat with a heavy bass. All around them, people broke off to get back into the fast paced dancing. The two stood, Hux looking at the ground and Ben looking at Hux, refusing to break apart like the others.

“The party is almost over,” Ben noted, checking his watch. 

And so was the trip, Hux thought to himself. He just nodded, and watched a few groups of guests already begin their goodbyes. It was a slap in the face, a horrific reminder of what was to come the next afternoon. 

Ben held tightly to his hand, but Hux could already feel him slipping away.

-

“Sleep, sweet sleep,” Ben cried out gleefully as his body crashed into the mattress. 

Hux stood across the room, focusing intently on undoing the buttons of his shirt. When did there get to be so many, he wondered, and why was it so much harder to unbutton them. 

Just as he was about to rip the shirt off at the seams, his hands were taken into another’s. Ben stood in front of him, gently unhooking every button that Hux’s hands were shaking too badly to get at. 

“Thank you,” Hux smiled softly, keeping his head down. 

“Of course, pumpkin,” Ben grinned in return.

The nickname was meant to be sweet, Hux knew that, but it felt like a twist of the knife that was already in his gut. Heavy tears welled in the corners of his eyes, and he desperately tried to bat them away as his eyes stayed focused on the carpet. 

“Hux?” Ben asked, holding his arm out to rest on Hux’s shoulder.

Hux pulled back. The lingering feeling of where Ben’s hand had been burned with everything that he could never have. For four days he was able to swallow it whole with the promise of more time, but now that time was up. 

“Please,” he asked roughly, “Don’t,” 

Ben didn’t argue, and Hux didn’t look at the expression on his face. He just brought his unbuttoned sleeve up to his eyes to wipe away the tear that had escaped, and yank in a deep breath. It was pathetic to act this way, he knew it. 

“Hux,” Ben deflated at the realization that Hux was crying, lifting his hands to pull him closer, but quickly dropping them once more.

Hux stole a quick look at Ben, but he wished he hadn’t. He was confused, unsure of how to help him, but more than anything he looked distressed. Those soft eyes were now wide with worry as they darted around in looks of an answer. 

“Come to bed,” Ben requested gently, and that was it. 

Hux let out a horrific sob, doubled over in pain with his arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. Ben staggered back, tired and tipsy and shocked. The sound alone was frightening, but the wrecked look of Hux was something completely different. 

“Hux, please, just tell me-” Ben pleaded, stepping forward to secure a tight grip on Hux’s shoulders.

“Let me go,” he said weakly, but Ben held on. 

“Hux,” his voice was soothing and sweet as he lifted Hux up to look at him.

“I’m just tired,” Hux rasped, “I just need to sleep,” 

Ben didn’t look convinced. He stood, unwavering, watching as Hux let a few of the tears drip onto his cheeks. And then, he reached out to wipe them away as tenderly as possible. Everything he did to help hurt Hux even more. 

“I shouldn’t have come,” Hux admitted, and the pain flashed across Ben’s face.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded, “Was - did someone say something to you? Because if so, just tell me who it was and I’ll-” 

“Ben, I love you,” Hux interrupted him, voice slow and steady despite his terrified resolve. 

Ben froze, mouth hanging open as he searched Hux’s face. This was it, he realized, this was where he lost not only his best friend but the man he truly believed could be the love of his life. 

“I’ve loved you for a long time. And I never realized it, I thought it was just a normal way to feel about a friend, but,” Hux felt his lip quiver, “Every time you touch me I feel like I’m on fire. When you smile, my heart lodges in my throat. I can’t even look at you anymore without feeling my chest ache, I-I feel like I’m going to be sick every time I think of being without you,” 

Ben stood still, unwavering in front of him. His jaw was clenched, and Hux felt himself break down further at the lack of a response.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, “I never meant for this to happen, I wasn’t trying to trick you into falling in love with me, I just wanted to be a better friend. You’ve always made me so happy and for once I wanted to do the same for-”

Hux’s voice was cut off by Ben’s lips crashing against his own. He staggered backwards, hitting the door softly as Ben nipped his bottom lip. Hux let out a soft gasp, his hands moving up to tangle in Ben’s hair. 

“Ben,” Hux gasped, feeling lips mouthing at his neck. It was overwhelming, he felt like his knees may collapse under him. 

“Hux,” Ben murmured, voice gruff, “Will you come to bed now?”

Hux let out a groan, head tipping back to rest against the door as he nodded, and just like that Ben was pulling him across the room. They landed on the bed, Hux straddling Ben’s waist and instantly grinding down into him.

Ben’s back arched slightly, hands squeezing Hux’s thighs to keep him in that position. Hux smiled fiendishly, rolling his hips again and reveling in the friction. Ben’s chest rose and fell in a harsh pattern, and Hux traced his fingers everywhere he could reach. 

Ben’s hands came up to tug at the unbuttoned shirt hanging loosely around Hux’s shoulders, and it was quickly discarded to the floor. In turn, Hux yanked at the t-shirt Ben changed into before bed. 

Before Hux could roll his hips again, he felt himself rush through the air and land with this back against the mattress. Ben loomed over him, seeming hulking in the moment, and Hux let out a low whine as he felt the breath warm on his cool skin.

Ben’s mouth attacked his exposed abdomen, leaving long kisses across the pale skin. Hux, too overwhelmed to think straight, didn’t realize that Ben was speaking for a few seconds. He held his breath, listening to the gentle words that spilled from Ben’s lips between kisses.

“I love you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Hux’s hipbone, “I’ve always loved you,” another right below his navel, “I will love you forever,” 

Ben’s eyes flickered up to meet Hux’s, and Hux let out a choked gasp. It was all too much, really, and he didn’t know how to respond. Slowly, Ben crawled up the bed until their foreheads rested against each other.

“You love me,” Hux breathed.

“I do,” Ben promised.

“I love you,” Hux whispered.

“I know,” Ben grinned. 

Hux pulled a hand up, fingers tracing delicately along Ben’s lips. Ben stared at him in a way that no one else had before, a way that filled him with such love and promise he couldn’t move. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Ben assured him, dragging a finger along his jawbone and Hux keened into the touch.

“I trust you,” Hux returned, the shakiness of his voice receding. 

Ben’s head dropped and he let out a choked back moan when Hux bucked his hips upward. They were shoved back against the mattress, and Hux smirked when Ben moved back in to kiss him.

Somehow, Ben was able to unhook Hux’s pants with one hand and start to shove them down. Hux felt his heartbeat quicken, the promise of what was going to happen suddenly hitting him like a truck.

Ben noticed the change, and pulled back. Hux tried to follow him to avoid breaking the kiss, but Ben held him down by the chest. Hux felt a mixture of longing, excitement, and fear, but couldn’t distinguish which emotion was most heavily present. 

“We can stop,” Ben said, and Hux could have swooned at the sound of his gravelly voice.

“I don’t want to,” Hux assured him, clearly, and wiggled out of his khakis to show him.

“What do you want?” Ben asked plainly, swirling his fingers along Hux’s thigh. 

“You,” Hux purred, moving against his touch. 

Ben opened his mouth to complain about the lack of detail within the answer, when Hux pulled him down roughly so their lips were connected again.

“Make me regret every second I spent daydreaming about those pretty little lips around my cock instead of making it a reality,” Hux commanded, his voice deep. 

Ben looked like he was about to pass out for a moment, nodding eagerly and scrambling to get to work. Hux smiled, pleased with himself as he wrapped his fingers in Ben’s hair and pushed him down.

The energy of the room was thrumming, anticipation bubbling up through Hux’s entire body. As soon as he felt Ben rip off the remaining bits of his clothes, he decided that every aching moment he spent pining over the other was worth it. 

The feeling of Ben’s mouth on him only furthered this belief. Hux threw an arm over his mouth to hold back any noise he was going to make. Thankfully, the bedrooms in the house were spread out, but he wasn’t about to be caught with his dick down Ben’s throat. 

Ben looked up, eyes locking with Hux’s as he worked his way from the tip to the base. Tears sprang from the tips of his eyes, and his breathing became so heavy that Hux could feel it from his spot up on the bed. 

“Good, baby,” Hux praised him, “You’re doing so well, I-” Hux’s voice cut off with a muted moan as he hit the back of Ben’s throat.

Ben looked pleased from his spot below, cheeks red and patchy and the tears leaking down onto his cheeks. Hux strained himself to keep his eyes open, to catalogue every inch of the man’s face, to remember this moment forever. 

“God, I’ve wanted this,” Hux admitted, “Ben, wait,” he gasped, yanking him off of his cock by the grip on his hair. 

Ben moaned at the tug, popping off with a sound that made Hux shudder. Immediately, Hux went to work undoing the rest of Ben’s clothes, shedding them onto the ground messily. 

Ben looked confused, Hux clearly hadn’t finished yet. He figured that he would get off afterwards, but Hux had other plans. 

“I want to make this last,” he rolled on top of Ben, letting his head fall back as they moved their hips together.

“Hux,” Ben gasped.

Hux took Ben’s wrists in his own, leaning forward to pin them above his head. Ben looked surprised when he couldn’t break them free with a single tug, and Hux grinned. 

“What was that you said the other day?” Hux asked, “That I like to be in control?”

Ben nearly whimpered, straining his hips up to gain some friction. Hux merely pushed himself up and away, leaving him a writhing mess beneath. 

“You were right,” Hux leaned in, nipping at Ben’s ear, “I like to be in charge,” 

“Hux,” Ben rasped, “Please,” 

That was what Hux liked to hear. Finally, he began to rock their hips together. Ben’s eyes fluttered closed and his hips pressed up for more. Hux nipped at his neck, sucking a dark bruise just below his collarbone.

“Have you imagined this, Ben?” Hux asked.

Ben nodded quickly, tugging at his arms slightly to try and feel Hux’s body. Hux didn’t budge, and only squeezed his wrists that much tighter.

“Is that why your showers took so long? Because you were imagining me bouncing on top of you, begging your name,” Hux’s voice was deep, and Ben continued to nod like his life depended on it. 

Hux was pleased, especially with the knowledge that Ben had been driven just as crazy within the last four days as he was. It made those sexually frustrated nights and mornings pining feel that much better.

“How does it feel,” he dropped his lips low to Ben’s ear, “To know that you’re the first person I’ve let touch me this way in so long,” 

Ben whimpered completely this time, lost in a string of pleading for his hands back so that he could hold Hux. He held off for a moment, and finally released the other’s hands.

All at once he felt them on his body, roaming and pinching and pulling, and for a second Hux had to stop grinding his hips to absorb the feeling of someone else touching him so intimately.

Ben took the two of them in one hand, slowly starting to jack them off together. Hux choked, tipped forward as he braced himself by putting a hand on Ben’s chest. Ben took it as a challenge, and started to move faster.

“Talk to me,” Ben pleaded from below, sitting up slightly to nip Hux’s neck. Hux found himself at a loss of words for a moment, swirling in the pleasure.

“Next time, I want you inside me,” he gasped, and Ben’s fist clenched around them, “I want to ride you until my legs are shaking, I want you to fuck me against the wall until I can’t walk, I, oh my god, Ben, I want you to bruise me, mark me, remind me I’m yours,” 

Hux babbled on, saying any words that came to mind as Ben’s hand worked over him. Finally, it was too much, and Ben came with a low moan. Hux leaned over to kiss him, to absorb the noise. It sent shock waves through his body.

Ben was breathless, barely able to keep his eyes open, but he flipped Hux over onto his back. Before he could ask what was happening, Ben took him into his mouth again and Hux felt his fingers curl into the sheets.

Ben reached up to put them in his hair instead, and with every yank he moved faster and went deeper until Hux was seeing stars. 

“Ben,” his voice lifted, gripping tightly onto his hair as Ben moaned around his cock. 

When he pulled off, Hux looked down and nearly moaned. Ben sat on his heels, hair a disheveled mess that stuck to his forehead, lips so red it looked like he was wearing lipstick, and cheeks stained with trails of tears.

“The way you look,” Hux breathed heavily, “Makes me want to do this all over again,”

Ben grinned, obviously pleased with himself, and pressed a chaste kiss to Hux’s hip bone. Hux let his eyes flutter closed, utterly exhausted, and willed himself to stay awake to clean up. 

Before he could, he felt a warm towel gliding over him. It was gentle, along with the soft kisses pressed across the expanse of his bare body. Hux opened his eyes to see Ben taking care of him, washing him, checking on him, and fell in love all over again.

Thankfully, they didn’t make a mess of the blankets. Hux still made a mental note to wash them in the morning, before anyone caught a whiff of the room. As if reading his mind, Ben opened one of the windows.

“Don’t worry,” he soothed, “I’ll keep you warm,” 

Hux’s chest could have broken from the love that radiated within it as he crawled under the blankets, wrapping his body in the sheets. Ben had handed him a pair of pajama pants, but he still shivered from the lack of anything on top.

“Come to bed,” Hux asked sleepily, holding out a hand to beckon Ben over from where he stood tugging on a pair of flannel bottoms.

Through his hazy, sleepy eyes, Hux saw the wild grin that broke out on Ben’s face. He climbed in beside Hux, and was instantly greeted with a mess of limbs tangled up in his own.

“You love me,” Ben tested the words aloud.

“I do,” Hux promised.


	7. Petrichor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very brief look at Hux and Ben a year after the party.

“Ben,” Hux snapped, looking up from his phone mid e-mail, “Are you seriously in your pajamas?”

Ben scooped another spoonful of cereal into his mouth from his spot on the couch, barely looking up as Hux stood expectantly in front of him. He wore his usual flannel pajama bottoms, a top missing as always, and Hux noted the several milk droplets along his chest.

“Yeah,” Ben said casually, “So what?”

Hux could have exploded. He locked his phone, placing a hand on his hip as he crossed the room to shut off the television. Ben opened his mouth to protest, but Hux cut him off before he could get in a word. 

“We have ten minutes,” he threw his hands into the air, “And you look filthy-”

“Hey,” Ben interjected, eyes glancing down to look himself over.

“Am I going to have to do this by myself? Are you so incapable of something as simple as taking a shower that-” Hux ranted, and Ben set his cereal down on the end table.

“For your information-” he interrupted, but Hux cut him off with a single glare.

“I did the planning, I took the day off of work, I made the arrangements, I booked everything, and all that you had to do was what, Ben? What was the one fucking thing that I asked of you?” Hux’s voice rose slightly, “It was that you were ready to go when I said we need to leave. Which you aren’t, by the obvious looks of it,” 

Ben slumped back against the couch, taking the verbal lashing with ease. It only angered Hux more to see how relaxed he was despite the yelling. As he revved up to unleash another round, Ben meandered over to where he was.

“Their flight was delayed,” he soothed quietly, reaching up to cup Hux’s face.

Hux swatted his hand away easily, grimacing as he whipped out his phone again to check his messages. Sure enough, there was an alert that the flight had been pushed back an hour and a half. 

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Hux went off, and Ben’s head tilted back slightly as he mouthed silently to the ceiling.

“You were in the shower,” Ben reminded him.

“You’ve crawled into my showers with less of a reason,” Hux spit out, eliciting a hearty laugh from Ben.

“Pumpkin,” Ben shook his head, and Hux rolled his eyes.

“I hate that stupid nickname,” he lied.

“No you don’t,” Ben stated.

“No,” Hux sighed, as if disappointed in himself, “I don’t,” 

“In fact, you love that nickname,” Ben smirked.

“Don’t push it,” Hux grimaced.

Again, he pulled out his phone to bring up a color coordinated schedule. Rapidly, he began to move the day around to fit the delay of a flight. Ben plucked the phone from his hands.

“We’ve been together for, what, a year now?” Ben mused.

“A year and four months to your family, don’t you dare fuck this up-” Hux countered, reaching for his phone as Ben held it behind him.

“Hux,” Ben sighed gently, a hand effortlessly combing through Hux’s hair, “They love you,”

Hux swallowed thickly, staring at the phone still in Ben’s other hand. Ben jerked his head over to look him sternly in the eyes. Hux felt himself melt. It had been a year of this, and he still couldn’t get over the way Ben’s eyes shone when he looked at him.

“I want it to be perfect,” Hux admitted.

“Oh, baby,” Ben whispered, pressing gentle kisses across his face. Hux sighed sweetly, keening into the soft touch.

Ben held him tightly, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as they stood swaying in the living room. Despite his tough resolve, Hux couldn’t help but crack under Ben’s touch. Even now, with the stress of a lifetime on his shoulders, he let himself relax.

“Come with me,” Ben murmured, leading Hux backwards towards the bedroom.

“You’re such a piece of shit, if you honestly think that I’m going to fuck you right now-” Hux felt himself tense up again and Ben shushed him.

“You need a nap,” Ben commanded, guiding him to lay down.

Hux settled in on his side, staring at Ben from his spot on the bed. Ben curled up next to him, resting his head on his arm as he stared sweetly at Hux.

“I don’t have time for a nap,” Hux felt himself yawn, and cursed Ben for letting him slow down for even a second.

“Yes, you do,” Ben promised him.

Hux let his eyes close, reaching out to grab at Ben’s hands. Ben held onto his waist securely, playing with his hair or drawing on his back to relax him. Hux felt the stress wind away slowly, and thanked god for Ben.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Hux apologized quietly.

“You always yell,” Ben reminded him, voice laced with affection.

“I know,” Hux sighed, “I’m sorry,” 

Ben didn’t say anything, just rubbed their noses together and pressed tender kisses along Hux’s eyelids. They laid in silence together, and Hux felt dangerously close to the verge of sleep.

“If I nap I’ll be too groggy to drive,” he complained.

“I’ll drive, it’s okay,” Ben promised him, rubbing along his hip.

Hux smiled faintly, puckering his lips to ask silently for a kiss. Ben happily obliged, nuzzling up to him as closely as possible. In the back of Hux’s mind, he realized his button up would wrinkle from this position. He didn’t care.

In a few hours, Ben’s family would be visiting their new apartment for the first time. It was their third time coming out to visit the city since the birthday party, and Hux had been back to Ben’s childhood home twice as well. 

It had been just under a year since Hux’s first visit, but he still thanked whatever higher power there was every day that he had convinced Ben to bring him home. It led him to realizing the love of his life had been standing in front of him for ten years.

Ben’s hand glided up and down his waist, reminding Hux of every gentle touch the past year brought. There had been fighting, screaming, bickering, cursing, but nothing compared to those offhand touches that Ben supplied him with. 

“You really should shower,” Hux murmured, teetering on the verge of sleep, “You smell like a litter box. I don’t know how I’ve laid next to you for this long,” 

Ben’s hand didn’t move away, and Hux hadn’t expected it to. They had about an hour left before they needed to leave. Ben would spend up until the last ten minutes laying beside him, running his hands everywhere they could reach. Hux wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You love me,” Ben hummed contently. 

Hux remembered every kiss, every laugh, every smile, every touch, and felt his body burn with the affection he felt for Ben. There was nothing in his life that he could ever feel more strongly for, nothing that he would rather have than their time like this together.

“I do,” Hux promised, and when he felt Ben’s lips ghost over his he knew that he was loved back just as fiercely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well! this is it. my first Kylux fic is over. thank you to everyone that has been supportive and left such sweet comments. they really kept me going from chapter to chapter. to everyone that made it this far, I sincerely hope you enjoyed it.


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